Dear Fellow Traveler, Underneath the Moon
by sentbyfools
Summary: AU. Regina is killed trying to cast the curse, and so Emma grows up in the Enchanted Forest as a sheltered princess until one day, she meets the big bad wolf and becomes one herself. She and the man who cursed her, Killian Jones, embark on a quest to break the curse and they both get more than they bargained for.
1. DFT, UTM

**Title: **Dear Fellow Traveler, Underneath the Moon

**Summary: **AU. Regina is killed trying to cast the curse, and so Emma grows up in the Enchanted Forest as a sheltered princess until one day, she meets the big bad wolf and becomes one herself. She and the man who cursed her, Killian Jones, embark on a quest to break the curse and they both get more than they bargained for.

**Story Notes: **This story is complete, and part 1/2 of a series. I have no idea when the sequel will be posted yet, but I do plan to have it written sometime before season 3 is over.

**Acknowledgments: **I have so many people to thank. First to jewelsify, khaleesikitten, and colinodonoqhue for their encouraging words and for putting up with my never-ending complaints about this fic. Then to Nathalie, wonderful Nathalie, who gave me so many wonderful edits on this story and made it come to life. This fic could not have been written without these wonderful ladies. And to my wonderful, wonderful artist (whose art is linked on my profile, really, GO CHECK IT OUT) who had to put up with my extreme delay in getting this fic finished, thank you, thank you, _thank you_, for the gorgeous art. Please, go shower her with love and comments as her art is amazing.

* * *

The ball isn't exactly boring, but Emma has been to so many that she is just _so_ tired of balls. So, instead of humouring her parents and dancing with one of the many guests, she goes outside on the balcony and stares into the dark forest, hoping for something, anything to take her away from all this monotony.

She lets out a tiny gasp when a shadow in the shape of an animal falls at the edge of the forest. Emma leans over the edge of the parapet, trying her hardest to make out the shape.

A wolf.

She turns away. Wolves so close to the castle weren't exactly commonplace, but it was still just a wolf. She tells herself this, but something makes her turn back, a pull towards the beast, as if they are connected by a taut thread.

When she looks back towards the forest, the wolf is staring up at her, its yellow eyes locking with hers. She doesn't dare look away, feeling that pull again as she matches gazes with it.

_There's something weird about this wolf_, she thinks, and makes the snap decision to go see it up close.

"Emma," her mother, Snow, says, coming out on the balcony to join her. "Why aren't you dancing? Enjoying yourself?"

Emma lets her face droop, shifting her features into a pained expression. "I'm not feeling very well. I think I'm just going to head up to bed."

Snow walks over to her, clasping her hands around Emma's cheeks. She presses the back of one hand to Emma's forehead and says, "You do feel a little warm. Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"

It is moments like these, with Snow looking at Emma in genuine concern, that make Emma feel awful about lying, but she wants to see the wolf more, so she shakes her head vehemently.

"No, I don't want you to leave just because I'm feeling sick. Please, don't leave, I don't want to spoil your fun," Emma begs softly.

Snow smiles at her. "If you need anything..."

"I know," Emma cuts her off with a small smile to reassure her.

"Go on. I'll tell your father where you've gone. He was worried too," Snow says.

Emma walks through the edge of the crowd and exits the ball. When she is sure that she is free, Emma races through the castle, running down its long halls in her ball gown. Escaping from the ball was the easy part, it seems; it is getting out of the castle that is going to be hard. She stops just at the end of the last hall before exiting the castle to calm and straighten herself.

"Princess Emma, it's late. You shouldn't be out on your own," one of the guards, Leo, says as she leaves through the double doors leading out of the castle.

"My mother said it was alright," Emma lies smoothly.

Leo gives her a skeptical look. "You'll need an escort anyway."

"I'm just going to the edge of the forest," Emma says. "I don't need an escort, Leo. I'm nineteen years old. I'm too old for an escort."

"But -" he says.

"That's my final word on the matter," she says sharply. Softer, she says, "I'll be right back. Don't worry."

He still doesn't look convinced, but as she walks past him, down the bridge, he doesn't stop her. Halfway down, she breaks into a jog. With all the holdups, the wolf has probably already gone, but she needs to see, needs to make sure.

When she gets to the edge of the forest, she looks around quickly, trying to spot the wolf. Right before she is about to turn away, disappointed, her eyes catch sight of two yellow eyes staring back at her. She nearly jumps out of her skin at how close it is, but then regains control of herself.

_It's just a wolf,_ she tells herself. She is about to approach it when she hears the sound of someone running behind her. "Emma, what is going on?"

Emma turns to her neck to see her father coming up behind her. She turns back to the wolf, but it has gone. Frustrated by David's untimely arrival, she says, "Nothing. I just needed a breather."

"A breather?" David says. As she turns to face him fully, he gives her an unconvinced look that says that Emma is in trouble.

"Yes, a breather. Your balls are exhausting. Sometimes, I don't want to dance. Sometimes, I just want..." She trails off. He isn't really listening anyway, his mouth thinning into a line that Emma knows well.

"Come on, Emma," he says. "It isn't safe out here."

He leads her back down the bridge and through the castle gates. Emma sighs heavily as she stares at the hard lines of his back, his anger evident in his stiff posture. She doesn't understand it. She is nineteen years old, not someone that needs babying. She understands that it is her parents' job to worry, but not like this. Sometimes she feels like they know something she doesn't. It feels like they're just waiting for something bad to happen, but it goes beyond that - it's almost as if they _know_ something bad is going to happen. Most of the time, she doesn't think it makes much sense, and she is able to shake her suspicions away. However, when they tell her she can't do this or that because it's _too_ dangerous, times like this where even walking to the edge of the forest by herself is deemed unsafe, Emma finds it hard to think of anything but how overprotective they are.

David leaves her outside her room.

"I need to return to the ball and our guests," he says, sounding tired. "Your mother is inside waiting for you."

Emma cringes and then, taking a deep breath, she opens the doors to her bedroom. Snow looks up from where she is sitting on the edge of Emma's bed. For a moment, her face is hard, her expression tight, but then the muscles relax. She looks impossibly relieved as Emma crosses the room to her. Emma sits down on the bed beside Snow, waiting to be chastised.

"I thought you weren't feeling well," Snow says.

"I wasn't," Emma replies, thinking of how bored she felt at the ball.

She takes Emma's hands in hers, placing them on her lap as she rubs soothing circles on the back of Emma's hands.

"Emma, what were you doing out there?" Snow asks, her tone careful and patient.

"I just wanted to see," Emma says. She looks to the large, open window, craning her neck to see if she could spot the thing - the _wolf_ - again. She sees nothing, not even its eyes glowing in the darkness of the night.

"See what?" Snow says.

"Nothing," Emma says, disappointment heavy in her voice. "Nothing at all."

* * *

Having a castle on an island with only one entrance that doesn't lead to the sea makes it difficult to sneak out of. Somehow, against all odds, Emma manages to the next evening. She sneaks out with the ball guests leaving the castle. Dressed in her riding clothes, with her hair in a simple knot and the bottom half of her face covered by a mask, she pretends to be just one of the servants leaving with one of the visiting princesses. She grabs a horse and rides out like she belongs, and no one tries to stop her.

She still feels that pull - she wants to see the wolf again, and this time, she isn't going to be interrupted. As the people veer off down the road, Emma goes to the edge of the forest instead. Climbing down from her horse, she walks farther inside the forest line, searching.

Emma can't say that she is much of a tracker; her parents never let her into the forest much, but the fresh paw prints in the dirt are easy enough to follow.

She comes to a clearing just inside the forest and that is where the paw prints end. Curious, she looks around for the wolf, but doesn't see it.

Feeling disappointed, Emma is about to turn around to head back home when again, she catches sight of yellow eyes staring at her from across the clearing, just within the tree line. She pulls off her mask and calls out softly, "It's okay. You can come out."

As if understanding her words, the wolf slowly steps into the clearing, making its way towards Emma. Finally, a foot away from Emma, it stops. It inclines its head at her, studying her. It starts to growl, baring sharp fangs at her, its shoulders raised in preparation for an attack.

Scared, but refusing to be cowed, Emma says, "Stop that."

Her words seem to do their job as the wolf relaxes and stares into her eyes as if it can see into her soul. She laughs at the thought and takes tiny steps closer to the wolf until she is within reaching distance.

Slowly, she reaches out her hand and places it on top of the wolf's head, just between its ears. In a careful motion, she starts to rub the wolf's head, scratching behind its ears like she might do to one of David's hunting dogs. Its black fur is soft and Emma can feel her heart racing in her chest as she pets the wild animal.

"You're just a big softie," Emma murmurs as she continues to stare into its eyes.

Seconds later, she pulls her hand to herself. "You bit me," she hisses at the wolf.

She turns her head down to look at the bite, and when she turns back, she jumps, backing away because standing before her is a half-naked man and not a wolf.

"What the hell? Stay away from me," she says, pulling out the knife she keeps strapped to her waist.

"I'm going," he says slowly. A dark smile crosses over his handsome face as he gazes at her. "You should go too, princess. You wouldn't want your mother and father to catch you out alone with a man at night. There's no telling _what_ they might think."

"I'd be more worried about myself if I were you," Emma says coolly. The bite on her hand stings and she needs to get it rinsed, but she doesn't want to turn her back on the man - _shapeshifter_ -to go back to the castle yet; she doesn't trust him.

"I'll take my leave, then," he says. He turns and walks away, disappearing into the darkness of the forest.

Emma stands there for minutes after, poised to attack should he decide to return. Finally, when she is sure that he is gone for good, she turns and runs back to where she left her horse so that she can ride back to the castle. Sneaking back in is more difficult than sneaking out, and she is caught just as she reenters her bedroom. Inside, her mother is waiting for her.

"Mom," she groans.

"You're hurt!" Snow says, racing over to Emma's side to study the bite on her hand. "What did this?" she demands, looking at Emma with wide, fearful eyes.

"It was just a wolf," Emma mumbles.

"Just a wolf?" Snow says. She raises an eyebrow, her face scrunched up in concern.

"I chased it off," Emma says. She says nothing about the fact that she chased it off in a human form rather than as a wolf. Her mother would never let her outside again if she told her that.

"I know you want an adventure, Emma. I know that you're bored, cooped up here in this castle, but you need to listen to me. This is for your safety," Snow explains.

_Maybe I don't want to be safe,_ Emma thinks, remembering the thrill she felt when her hand first touched the wolf's fur.

Her mother stares at her, waiting for a response, and finally, Emma says, "I understand."

"Thank you for understanding," Snow says with a smile. "Now let's go get you cleaned up and this hand bandaged."

* * *

A week passes and Emma jumps into her daily activities, eager to forget about her encounter. She had been eager to see the wolf, and is even now eager to know more. She has so many questions - What kind of creature had she met in that forest? What kind of magic did he possess? And why had she felt so drawn to him? Yet, she knows that she'll probably never see the wolf again, so she forces herself to forget rather than dwell on the unanswered questions.

Still, they plague her mind, invading her dreams. When she goes to bed that evening, it is to images of the wolf's glowing yellow eyes and the man's blue ones fading in and out of each other.

Emma wakes up hours later feeling confused. She isn't staring at the ceiling as she usually is when she wakes up, but lying on the floor. _Huh, _she thinks, trying to stand, but it is a struggle. Finally, she is able to get on all fours but - she shouldn't be on all fours. She should be standing, except her hands don't feel like hands, don't even move like hands. She stretches them out in front of her, trying to see what's wrong and lets out a scream. Except her scream is more like a howl and her hands aren't hands, they're paws.

She closes her eyes, lets out a deep breath that sounds like a pant, and hopes that when she opens her eyes again everything will be back to normal. It isn't though, and she wants to cry but she is stronger than that.

Emma knows what has happened; it is the only thing that makes sense. The man-wolf, when he bit her, he did something to her, passed on his disease. And now Emma just needs to figure out how to turn back into a human so that she can find someone to get rid of whatever disease he has given her.

She focuses on trying to be human again, on remembering what it feels like to be human. The effort makes her sweat, and yet it doesn't work.

Now, she really wants to cry.

Before she can start to pity herself even more, she hears footsteps. They don't sound that close, maybe two floors off, but her ears catch the sound and refuse to ignore it. Something in her, a primal instinct brought about by the transformation, tells her she needs to get out of there before the footsteps reach her.

She races to the door, but it is closed and locked as usual and she doesn't have the right body parts to open it. She runs to the open window and looks down at the water below. It looks even more foreboding than usual, and the fall would probably kill her. She doesn't have many options though.

Emma waits for the door to open, thinking she can bypass whoever comes through the door.

"Emma," she hears David call through the door.

Forgetting about her predicament, she tries to call out to him, but what comes out is a bark. _Crap,_ she thinks as David frantically slams against the door, shaking on the handle, and calling out her name.

"Emma, open the door!" he begs, sounding desperate.

"Emma!" he calls just as the door jamb begins to crack from his efforts.

Finally, it flies open and Emma comes face to face with her father. She mewls plaintively. If anyone will recognize her in her wolf form, then it would be her parent. It as if time stopped as he stares at her, frozen in place, but then the spell is broken and he pulls his sword out of its sheath, swinging in an arc intended for her. She moves out of the way just in time, skidding across the floor in her haste to get away from him.

"What have you done with my daughter?" he demands sounding both angry and scared.

Emma barks again, begging him to understand, needing him to, but he doesn't. Instead he swings the sword again, aiming at her. She narrowly avoids his attack again, her back pressed against the wall as he prepares for another blow.

Seeing that he isn't going to stop, Emma does the one thing she can do. She lunges at him, knocking him back across the floor and shoots through the broken down door. Turning in a circle, she runs for the stairs. Moving in this new body didn't take much getting used to, but she doesn't have time to think about the implications of that before she has to contend with the rest of the castle's inhabitants.

David is yelling, his voice ringing in her ears. "Catch that wolf!" he shouts.

Guards come to meet her just as she is halfway down the stairs. They block her path, raising their spears. As soon as Emma lunges for them though, they jump back out of her way, more afraid of her than she is of them. She continues to run down the stairs as they chase her and when she reaches the second floor landing, she can go no farther. There are too many guards on the stairs to contend with. She runs down the hall, unsure of what to do.

She sees the window at the end of the hall, envisions the dark water below. She turns back around, moves out of the way just in time to get nicked in the shoulder by a flying arrow.

Either way she goes is almost certain death, so she turns and sprints for the window. Crouching, she jumps up on the ledge.

"Stop!" her mother's voice calls out behind her.

Emma turns her head, sees the bow hanging in Snow's hands and without looking down, she jumps out of the window.

The wind pulls at her and dark water creeps closer and closer as she sails through the air. She takes a deep breath as she hits the water. For a long time, she sees only black. She can't breathe; she struggles against the heavy pressure around her until finally she breaks the surface.

She takes in laboured breaths as she pads around in the water. The castle looms over her and she can see torches travelling down the bridge. She needs to move, get lost in the forest before they reach the shoreline.

She paddles towards the shore. Her chest hurts from her struggle for air, and the cut on her shoulder stings in the salt water. She finally makes her way out of the water and on to land. The torches are close now, so she dashes into the forest. It is easier to move between the trees as a wolf. It is as if her body was built for exactly this. She hears the voices of the guards. They're not far off and she puts on a burst of speed until she can hear nothing but her own feet moving beneath her and her heart pounding in her chest.

Emma slows down and then comes to a complete stop. She looks around her. She has never been this deep in the forest before, and she is completely and totally lost. She knows exactly where she needs to go, but she has no idea how to get there until she hears a howl in the distance.

Instinctively, she responds with an answering howl that scares her with its volume and plaintiveness. When it ends, she takes a deep breath and heads in the direction of the other wolf, following the sound of its responding howl. Somehow she understands that this is the same wolf that she met the other night; there is something in the sound of its howl that identifies him to her.

She walks farther and farther into the forest. The light from the full moon peeking through the tree boughs guides Emma's path. She walks on until the forest floor beneath her begins to rise, leading to a tree covered hill where she spots the other wolf. He stares down at her and then shakes his head in her direction, urging her to follow him.

Emma is so tired - the adrenaline wore off about a mile back - but she follows him anyway because she needs him to fix whatever he has done to her.

She walks for about another mile. If she could bite her lip, she would. She is in too far now. She has no idea how she is going to make her way out of the forest and find the road home again.

Emma stops, barking at the wolf ahead of her. "Where are we going?" she asks in the bark, as if he'll understand her.

To her surprise, he does. But then, of course he does because he is a wolf too. When he barks back at her, his meaning comes through - he says, "Somewhere safe," and keeps walking.

Emma digs her heels in. "Somewhere safe? _Where_?"

He finally turns to look at her. He growls and says, "An old ruin. Come on!"

Emma sighs and follows him as he starts to walk again. Finally, they reach the remains of what must have once been a fort. Emma is wary about entering it as the wolf leads her through the nearly crushed stone doorway. What if he kills her? What if he does something worse? These are questions she should've asked herself before she followed him.

She presses on, pushing the fear away. She'll defend herself if she has to, although all her combat training won't help her too much now that she doesn't have legs or arms anymore.

She studies her new surroundings. Tattered flags wave in the night breeze and moonlight peeks through the cracked roof.

_This is what he calls safe?_

He turns to her, and in a series of barks, he says, "When you wake up in the morning, you'll be human again."

Emma doesn't want to go to sleep, not as a wolf and certainly not with a strange man-wolf lying beside her, but what choice does she have? She walks in a circle on the stone floor until she finds a spot that looks the most comfortable and lies down.

Sleep takes her quickly, exhaustion from the confrontation and running away pulling her under. When she wakes up, the sun is high in the sky. She starts to move around, but finds that her hands, shoulder, and feet ache. That is when she sits up fully. She pulls her hands to her face. She is human again. She hugs her arms to herself, smiling widely. She can go home now.

She can go home.

Emma looks to the wolf, now man as well. He is more clothed than the last time she saw him; this time he is actually wearing a shirt and a cloak on top of that. Beside him on the floor lies a sword. Emma eyes this nervously, but as she walks towards him, he doesn't move towards it so she relaxes a bit.

"I can't cure you," he says. He crosses his arms against his chest casually, studying her with a keen eye.

"What do you mean?" Emma asks, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously. "I'm already cured. See? No more fur." She waves her hands in front of him, emphasizing her point.

"You're not cured," he says. "When that full moon comes out again, you'll be a wolf all over again."

"No. You're lying," Emma says. "No, it can't be true."

"You have my word that I am not lying," he says.

"And what's your word worth to me? _Nothing_," Emma snaps. "I don't even know who you are."

He grins widely. "Killian Jones at your service. You don't have to introduce yourself. I already know who you are."

"You - " Emma starts to accuse.

Killian cuts her off, says, "_Everyone_ knows who you are. Princess Emma, the only child of Prince Charming and Snow White and the most beloved child in the realm."

"I'm not a child," Emma says quickly.

Killian gives her a slow onceover and says with a wicked smirk, "I can see that."

Emma feels the blush creep across her skin. Gathering herself, she says, "So if this is just a temporary reprieve, what the hell is the real cure? This is your fault. Fix it!"

"Bossy," he comments. He walks over to her, and Emma stands her ground as he leans over her. Finally after staring at her for a long time, he says, "I made a deal with a witch to give me eternal life, but I didn't think that she would curse me into becoming _this_."

"So what, you go around biting innocent people in the hopes that one of them will get cursed like you? Is this a game to you?" Emma says, anger making her tone sharp.

Killian laughs. "No, not a game. And I don't bite everyone. I knew it would be you who the curse would take."

Emma narrows her eyes at him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she asks, "And how did you know that?"

"A man never divulges his secrets," Killian says evasively.

"Maybe I don't need you to tell me, maybe I just need to punch you in the face," Emma says angrily and raises her fist preemptively.

He raises his hands in surrender, says, "Okay, hold off on the hitting for a moment. I'll just tell you."

"Because you're magic," he says. "The most powerful magic of all."

"Huh?" Emma says, raising both brows at him in confusion.

"Princess, you're the product of true love; your parents' story is quite the tale. Of course, you would be magic. And you're exactly what I need to turn me back."

She continues to look at him, confused, and finally, he elaborates, "The witch doesn't have enough magic to break the curse on her own, so she told me I needed to collect some stronger magic and bring it to her. I figured that bringing you would work, but I knew that getting you to come with me would be difficult unless I made you invested in my cause as well."

"So you bit me so you could use me? I'm going home; my parents will know how to fix this," Emma says, turning on her heel. She starts to walk away, but he grabs her by the wrist, pulling her back against him. "Let me go," she demands. She should be afraid, she should be pulling away, but she lets the anger keep her still instead and waits for him to fall under the weight of her fury and let her go.

"I will in a moment. Just hear me out. I know you want an adventure," he says.

Emma stares at him, stunned. Anger forgotten, she says, "How did you -"

"You're kind of an open book. And only a girl looking for something more would venture outside the safety of her castle walls just to confront a wolf."

Emma thins her mouth into a tight line. "So, what are you saying?"

"I can give you that adventure," he says. "Come with me to break this curse."

Emma stares into his eyes, trying to read the lie in them, the trick. Being able to do that is something she has been skilled at her whole life. He sounds and looks sincere enough, and Emma can find no reason not to trust him besides the obvious, that he is the man that did this to her in the first place and who knows what else he'll do to her? It would be better to go home, she knows this, but he has played his card well. Emma _does_ want to do something more than spend the rest of her life inside castle walls, and if she goes back now, then she never will. And what if her parents can't break the curse? What if she is stuck as a half-wolf , half-human for the rest of her life? No, she is going with him. She'll get her adventure and her cure, and then she'll return home.

"If I do this, do you promise to take me back home to my parents afterwards?"

"You have my word," he says earnestly. He grins at her widely, finally releasing his grip on her arm, but not before stroking his hand across the skin not covered by her shirt. Emma's skin burns where he touched it, and she is confused by the reaction.

Trying to put the confusing thoughts behind her, she says, "Now, tell me what we need to do."

"Well, we might as well get started on our trek through this forest. It'll be a long walk back to my ship -"

"Your ship?" Emma asks. "What kind of ship do you captain?"

Killian grins at her. "A pirate vessel, of course."

"A pirate vessel - you're a pirate!"

"What gave me away? My roguish good looks?" he asks.

Emma, wishing she could wipe the smug look off his face, says, "No, it was the smell."

He flinches theatrically. "Ouch, darling. You've a tongue of steel on you."

He studies her carefully, and after a long moment in which Emma has started to grow uncomfortable under the weight of his gaze, he says, "Let's go."

He picks up his sword off the ground, strapping it to his waist and then starts to climb through the doorway they came through last night.

"Are you coming?" he asks, crooking a finger at her. Emma takes a deep breath and follows behind him.

They walk on for miles, following a path that Emma can't see but obviously Killian knows well. It is warm out and Emma feels uncomfortable walking around in just her pajamas. She wishes she could change her clothes, wishes for some of the more simple comforts of home, like food and a bath.

"It's curious that our clothes remain on our skin even though we transform into animals," Emma says to Killian's back.

"You're right," he says, twisting his head to look at her. "It is curious, but that's magic for you. Always surprising you."

"What other surprises am I in store for? There'll be another full moon tonight. Is there anything I should be worried about?"

He stops walking and turns to face her fully.

"I can teach you," he says seriously.

"Teach me what?" Emma asks, curious at his tone.

"How to control the wolf," he says. "How to bring it about, make it so that it only comes out at your say-so."

Eagerly, Emma crosses the distance between them. "Teach me," she demands.

"Alright, _princess_," he agrees with a smile.

"My name is Emma," she corrects him icily. Out here, far beyond the castle walls, she doesn't want to be a princess. She wants to just be _Emma,_ though at the moment she isn't quite sure just exactly who Emma is.

"The first thing," Killian says. He grips her shoulders lightly, staring into her eyes. "You need to release all this tension. Loosen your shoulders -" He rubs at her shoulders for emphasis, massaging them with his fingers until she relents. "Lose the fists, and just _relax_."

Emma looks away from him, trying to follow his instructions, but finding it hard. She is uncomfortable, especially being so close to someone she has just met and barely knows, and so she stiffens. It is only when she returns her gaze to his, imagining that she can see herself reflected in his clear blue eyes, that she is able to relax.

"There's a good lass," Killian says softly. "Now, close your eyes."

Emma scoffs. "Close my eyes?"

A small smile curls Killian's lips. "Yes, close your eyes. Trust me."

_Trust me_. She looks into his eyes, feeling the same tug that she felt when she first saw him as the wolf, a gentle pulling within her. She doesn't find any reason not to trust him. He has already said that he needs her magic and she's inclined to believe that he needs her alive to work it. So, she closes her eyes. Killian is silent for a long moment, long enough that she notices the silence of the forest around them, and Emma can almost imagine that she hears the steady beat of her heart within her chest.

"Good," he says finally. "Now, imagine that you are the wolf. Envision yourself in that form, what it feels like, what you can hear and see and do. Ignore the human side of you, focus on your primal side."

"I don't -" She stops herself before the rest of the words come out. No, she _does_ think she can do this. She _knows_ that she can do this. She just needs to focus.

Unlike when she was trying to force herself to become a human when she'd first turned into a wolf, she isn't panicking. Killian's words worked, she is completely calm, and after a moment, Killian's hands leave her shoulders and he takes a step back. She opens her eyes to realize that she is a wolf once again, staring at Killian's knees. The pads of her paws feel rough against the patchy forest floor and a whole new world of smells and sounds has opened up to her. Killian gives off a distinctly male scent, musky and warm, and she can hear each intake of breath, each gentle release of it. She feels stronger. She moves her front leg and paws at the ground, a more fluid motion than she has ever managed as a human. She feels graceful and fast. She feels _strong._

"You did it. Knew you could," Killian says, looking down at her. "Now, let's see if you can turn back."

Emma closes her eyes again, trying to reach the calm feeling she had before, but the panic seeps in. _What if I can't turn back?_

"Come on, Emma, lass, just relax. You can do this," Killian says.

With Killian's encouragement, she feels her doubt recede and her confidence return. Taking a deep breath, she focuses on what it feels like to be human: how dulled her senses are as a human, how her palms would be sweating at this point from exertion. Seconds later, she can feel her hands again. She opens her eyes, grinning wildly.

"I did it!" she says. Her stomach takes that moment to inform her of how long it has been since she last ate and grumbles loudly.

"Hungry?" he guesses rightly. "Do you know how to hunt?"

"I can work a bow pretty well, but I've never shot anything that was alive. Besides, I don't have a bow..." Emma trails off.

Killian shrugs. "We'll do it as wolves then. Come on, shift back into a wolf," he says.

Emma relaxes, focusing on the feeling of utter strength being a wolf gives her, and moments later, she is a wolf again. Killian shifts too, and then barks at her to follow him. He starts to walk, sniffing at the air as he goes.

Emma follows his lead, sniffing. Her nose catches the scent of something animal, something that to her surprise makes her stomach growl. The thought of eating something raw should turn her stomach instead. She supposes that being the wolf makes her crave something other than the cooked meals that she is used to.

She hears the crunch of dry twigs somewhere to the left of her and something primal awakens in her. Emma perks up her ears, listening for more noise. The animal, whatever it is, is moving away and Emma is very hungry now. She pads in the direction of the sound, picking up speed as she goes. She can't tell if Killian is following behind her, too focused on the sound and smell of her meal.

When she catches up to it, she is surprised to find a brown bear. It turns to look at her, and for a moment, they just stare at each other, its dark brown eyes, almost black, locked with hers.

Killian comes up beside Emma and she blinks, breaking eye contact. The moment is lost, and that is when the bear attacks, roaring and lunging for Emma. Her survival instincts kick in, and she jumps out of the way. Killian jumps in the opposite direction.

The bear roars again, coming up for another attack. Emma and Killian share a look and they move together. While the bear goes for Emma again, Killian assails it from behind. The bear whimpers as Killian tears into its flank.

The smell of blood and flesh enters Emma's nose. The human side of her is repelled by the raw carnage, but the wolf side of her is in control, and it revels in it. She doesn't think, she just joins Killian in his attack.

As the bear tries to defend itself against Killian, Emma dives on it. She brings it down on its stomach, digging into it with her claws and with her teeth. The bear's bond rends easily beneath her attack. Her claws and teeth go through it as easily as a knife through butter. Soon, the dying wheezes of the bear fill the air as Emma and Killian feast on it.

It takes a while for Emma to come back to herself, and by that time, the bear is nothing but a wreck of bones, fur, and guts. She walks away from the bear, turning her back to it. Getting a hold of herself, she changes back into a human.

" I'm covered in blood," Emma grimaces as she touches her face and pulls her fingers away, seeing red. "Gross."

She looks over her shoulder and sees the dead bear, its insides spilled out over the ground, covered in blood."And I just ate raw meat." She draws a face, fake gagging, because although seeing the dead bear slightly sickens her, she isn't hungry any longer.

Killian chuckles at her, having changed back into a human as well. "I heard the sound of a stream somewhere back there," Killian indicates, jabbing at the direction with his thumb. "We can go get cleaned up."

Emma listens, and then she follows the sound of the stream until she reaches it. She falls to her knees by the edge of the rushing water. Cupping her hands together, she reaches down and takes the cool liquid into her hands. She drinks ravenously, gulping down the water. When she has sated her thirst, she splashes the water across her face and her nightshirt. It cleans her face fairly well, but doesn't do much to clean her top. The dark blue nightshirt is a loss, the blood a permanent copper stain, and Emma is once again reminded how unsuited her clothes are for the outdoors.

When she finally looks up from the water, Killian is watching her with a curious look in his eye. Emma cocks an eyebrow, returning his gaze.

"Aye, but you are a lovely lass," he says. He pauses and then, smirking, says, "Even covered in bits of bear."

A blush colours her cheeks. She is used to compliments, but she isn't immune to them. Not wanting to be distracted from what she is supposed to be doing, she warns him off, saying, "Don't get any ideas."

Killian smiles and says, "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Right," Emma drawls, not believing him for a second. A pirate is a pirate, and Emma isn't going to fall for his tricks. For the moment, her life may be in his hands, but there are things that are still hers and hers alone. She isn't going to let a simple compliment distract her from the bigger picture, from their quest to get the cure.

Killian continues to stare at her, and Emma stares back. She isn't going to turn her back to him, no, she won't let him get under her skin.

After a moment, Killian breaks the silence and says, "Well, we'd best be on our way if we're going to make any kind of headway today."

They walk for a long while in comfortable silence. The sun bears down on them through the trees, making their walk slow-going. Emma starts to sweat, and she rubs at the back of her neck in the spot where the sun's heat is strongest.

"What's life like in the castle?" Killian asks casually, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"It's fine," Emma responds stiffly, her focus mainly on trying to ignore the ache in her feet.

Killian unsheathes his sword, slicing through the vines hanging before them to make their progress easier. Then he says, "So what do you do all day?"

"Court things," Emma says. "Sparring lessons, horseback riding, and the like."

"So what are you good at? The horseback riding? The sparring? What is your most highly valued skill?"

"Why do you want to know? What's the point of all this poking and prodding?" Emma asks suspiciously, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

Killian glances over his shoulder and gives her an unimpressed look. "I should think that would be obvious. We're going to be travelling together for some time. Shouldn't we know more about each other than our names?"

Emma nods slowly, conceding to his point. Going back to his earlier question, she says, "I have this special skill."

"Oh, and what's that?" Killian asks, for the life of him, sounding absolutely interested.

"I can always tell when someone is lying," she says. She eyes him carefully, making sure he takes the hint.

He grins and says, "Well, that _is_ a handy skill to have. I'll have to make sure I never tell you a lie."

"You do that," Emma says, a smile playing on her lips.

"I am good at the sparring and the horseback riding," she adds. "I've been doing it since I was young. It's like second nature to me," Emma says.

"Second nature..." Killian trails off. "Fighting comes second nature to me as well."

The way he says that makes Emma pause. She stares at his back as he continues to walk on as if that will reveal the hidden meaning in his words.

"Don't linger, lass. Unless you need a rest..."

"I don't need to rest," Emma says, running to catch up with him. When she is beside him again, they continue on their trek through the forest.

* * *

"It's cold," Emma says. They've been walking for hours at a steady pace, covering quite a bit of ground, but it is nighttime now and Emma is growing tired.

"Aye, it is," Killian agrees. He gives her a long once-over and then removes his cloak, handing it to her. To her questioning look, he responds, "Giving you my cloak is the gentlemanly thing to do."

"Oh so, now you're going to be a gentleman?" Emma says, thinking back to their earlier conversation and how he'd used her desire for an adventure to convince her to go with him.

He leans in towards her so that his breath ghosts across her skin and says, "I'm always a gentleman."

"Somehow I highly doubt that," Emma says.

Killian's eyes crinkle with laughter as he chuckles. He starts to move again. Emma's legs give a twinge at the thought of walking anymore, and she is silently grateful when Killian turns and says, "We'll rest here tonight. It's as good a place as any to stop."

Killian starts a fire a little further off, close enough to keep them warm but far away enough that they're in no danger from the flames. Emma sits down on the cold, hard ground, trying to make herself comfortable amidst the rocks and foliage. By the time the fire starts to blaze, Emma has started to doze off. Killian tapping her on the shoulder wakes her up, and she looks at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Hmm?" she says.

"You'll be warmer if you shift into a wolf. The fur will keep you warm," he says.

Emma is so relaxed by the warmth of the fire and the tiredness in her bones that she slips into wolf form without difficulty. She lays down on all fours. As a wolf, it is easier to find comfort in her position, and it isn't even moments later that she slips off into sleep.

She hears them before she sees them. She is just on the precipice of sleep after having awoken from the cold when she hears the snap of a twig to the right of her. Her sharp wolf hearing picks out the sound of someone breathing heavily, and her nose recognizes them as guards from her castle.

She looks to Killian, but he is still fast asleep. Quietly she walks over to him, past the dying embers of the fire, and nudges him with her nose.

When he opens one yellow eye to look at her, she perks her ears, indicating that he should listen. A moment later he opens both eyes and stands up. A low growl escapes his mouth and he stares off into the distance, looking for the threat.

Figuring that the risk of the soldiers hearing her is worth protecting them from Killian's wrath, she barks, telling Killian not to hurt the soldiers.

Killian continues to growl as the soldiers start to crash through the foliage, heading towards Emma and Killian's camp. Instead of attacking when the soldiers reach them, he nudges Emma in the other direction, barking at her to run.

Emma turns to make sure he is following as the soldiers start to move forward. She breaks into a sprint, gaining speed as she rushes through the forest. The soldiers yell after them. Emma hears the sound of bows being drawn and arrows whooshing through the air. Killian moves ahead of her.

They lose the soldiers quickly, but still they run. Emma follows Killian's lead now as he seems to know where he is going. She is exhausted, almost falling asleep on her feet, when she sees where Killian is headed. Before them is a cabin. There are no lights on in it; it looks abandoned.

Killian stops running as they approach it and then he turns into a human. Emma relaxes herself and then turns into a human as well.

"Are we going there?" is the first thing she asks him.

"Yeah. I found it earlier, when I was on my way to the castle. I would've taken us here tomorrow, but those soldiers changed my plans."

"Will they find us?" Emma says.

"Yes, we left a clear trail, but it won't be tonight. It is too dark for them to track us. We'll be safe here tonight," Killian says. He walks on and Emma can see in the lines of his shoulders that he is as exhausted as she feels.

She speeds up, walking ahead of him so she is the first to enter the small cabin.

"A bed!" she says excitedly. She crosses the small cabin into the back room where the bed is. She turns to Killian, side-eyeing him and says, "I'm not sharing."

"Didn't even cross my mind," he says with a wicked grin that makes Emma roll her eyes and flush red at the same time.

"I'll sleep on the floor in here," Killian says, "Give you some privacy."

Emma is grateful for that. She doesn't mind travelling with Killian, but for certain things like sleeping and going to the bathroom, she feels mildly uncomfortable with him in such close quarters. Emma's anything if not adaptive though, so she is sure she'll get used to it soon enough. She frowns - _how long am I really going to be spending with him? I never even thought to ask._

"How long will this journey last?" Emma asks.

"Hmm, from here? Maybe another week, week and a half. The forest is large and the sea is wide - we still have much ground to cover," he replies.

_A week._ It's not exactly a long journey, but they're walking so she is sure her bones will consider it as one by the time it is over. A little over a week until she returns home. She frowns again. She wonders what her parents must think. She is old enough to make the decision to leave the castle, and they've raised her to be self-sufficient, but it isn't like she went up to them and said, "I'll be on a journey for a while, see you soon." They must be so worried about her; she would be too if she found a wolf where her child should be. _Maybe this was the wrong decision,_ she thinks. Except, it doesn't feel wrong, not exactly. Being on her own for once with only herself to depend on...it is exhilarating. She hasn't felt this alive..._ever_.

Emma shakes her head. She stands by her decision. It may not have been the most well-thought out decision she has ever made, but it was the right one for her.

"Goodnight, Killian," she calls out.

Killian yawns widely, waving a hand at her. "Goodnight, Emma."

She shuts the door behind her and climbs into the bed, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

She wakes up to a soft knocking at her door. She freaks out until she remembers where she is and how she got there. _It's only Killian,_ she thinks as her brain comes back to reality.

"Emma?" Killian's voice calls through the door.

"Hmm?"

"I've been looking through the closets here, I think I've found something that might suit you," he says through the closed door.

"Suit me?" Emma's brow wrinkles in confusion as she climbs out of bed. She stretches languidly, gets up, moving towards the door, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me you want to keep wearing those same pajamas," Killian says when she opens the door. He smiles down at her, handing out a pile of clothes for her to take.

Emma stares down at the pile, a black blouse, a pair of brown pants, and a red cloak to go with it. Emma grabs it and when she does, he leans down and picks up a pair of boots.

"How did you know that you'd find clothes for me here?" Emma asks.

"I didn't," he says. When she continues to look at him with distrust, he sighs and says, "Look, Emma, have I told you a lie?"

Emma studies him carefully. Finally she sighs and says, "Let me change. Is there any chance of breakfast that I don't have to catch myself?"

Killian grins at her widely, obviously relieved by her compliance. "Yeah, I caught a rabbit earlier with an old bow I found in the closet."

"Rabbit, yum," Emma says.

Killian rolls his eyes. "Yes, rabbit. If you don't want it, then more for me."

"Didn't say that I didn't want it," Emma says. She steps backwards into the room, and smiling, shuts the door in his face. "I'll be out in a minute."

She changes quickly. The clothes, despite being old and worn, are comfortable, more comfortable than her now ratty pajamas. She feels better now that she is rested and properly clothed, feels more comfortable in her decision than she felt the night before, and she leaves the room with a smile on her face, ready to start the day and continue on their journey.

"It smells good," Emma says when she leaves the room and finds Killian leaning over the fire with the rabbit impaled on the spit that he is slowly turning.

"Almost done," he says. "Did you sleep well?"

"Polite of you to ask, very gentlemanly," Emma says, raising an eyebrow at him in good humour.

He merely smirks in response and prods her to elaborate with his eyes.

"Yes, I slept well. But shouldn't we be leaving soon - you said those soldiers would find us," Emma says, the memory of the chase from last night catching up with her.

"Yes, they'll certainly find this cabin and we don't want to be here when they do," he confirms, turning his attention back to the cooking rabbit. "We'll eat on the move. "

She takes a moment to look around the cabin, and then turns back to Killian. "Did you find anything else of interest in here?"

"Not really."

"Nothing? No idea of who might have lived here?"

Killian looks up at her. "No. I imagine it was just one person, living on their own. We're deep in the forest now, far from any village or civilization."

Emma looks around the cabin again, seeing it with new eyes. "That must've been very lonely," she murmurs. "Imagine, living on your own without company of any kind..."

"Aye, I can imagine," Killian says. His tone makes Emma turn her gaze back to him, but before she can question him, he says, "Food's done. You ready to go?"

Emma glances back at the back room and its bed wistfully. It is probably the last time she'll be sleeping comfortably for a while. "I'm ready," she says as he snaps the rabbit's spit in half, splitting the rabbit in half as well.

He stands up, handing her both the bow and the quiver of arrows that had been lying on the floor beside him and a half of the rabbit.

She gives him a questioning look when he hands her the bow and quiver.

"It wouldn't do to leave you unarmed. Past this point, our road will be dangerous," Killian answers the question in her eyes.

"Dangerous. What kind of dangerous?" Emma replies, raising an eyebrow at him as she slings the quiver over her back. It is light enough that Emma barely notices it.

"Bandits, and creatures of all shapes and sizes roam this forest. You never know what we'll encounter," he says.

"Okay," Emma says, before taking a large bite of the rabbit. It is delicious, crispy on the outside and tender on the inside.

Killian raises an eyebrow at her. "And I expected you to eat like a lady."

Emma swallows the last bits of rabbit in her mouth and then says, "Expect the unexpected, buddy." Frowning, she continues, "And how exactly does a lady eat? I've always eaten this way, does it mean I've never been a lady?"

Killian shakes his head slightly. "I just meant that you don't eat like all the noblewomen I've encountered. There's no theatrics to it, you just get right to the point."

Emma inclines her head at him and says, "Yeah, whatever."

"I can't win with you, can I?" he says, his tone a mixture of frustration, amusement, and...fondness? Emma wouldn't stake a claim on that last one - he hasn't known her long enough to be fond of her. Just the idea of him feeling that way towards her makes her feel weird so she shakes the thought away and says, "You said we'd eat on the way, so let's go."

As Killian leads her out of the house and back into the heart of the forest, Emma finishes her breakfast. She tosses aside the bones when she is done, and it is such a small thing, but it really makes it hit home just how far from home she really is. She doesn't have anyone to wait on her nor does she have anyone to tell her off. She is truly free to do whatever she wants.

"Wow," she says aloud, earning a curious look from Killian.

They walk in silence for a little while. Emma uses that time to digest the reality of her situation. Essentially, she has run away, although technically she was chased away by her own parents to begin with. Her whole situation is crazy. She can turn into a wolf at will now, like, she never dreamed that she'd be doing something like this. Sure, she wanted adventure, it is just in her wildest fantasies, she'd never imagined that she'd be trudging through a forest with a man-wolf on a quest to find the cure for their condition. It is just...fantastical.

"So you're good with a bow?" Killian says, breaking the silence.

Emma nods as she peels back some low hanging branches so that she can pass.

"You get that from your mother then. Tales of her skill with a bow...I've been regaled with them many a time."

Emma stops mid-step and bites her lip."Do people really talk of my family that often? Outside of our kingdom, are we really that important?"

Killian pauses to look at her. "Everyone loves a hero," he says. "It gives them hope when their lives offer them none."

"I see," Emma says, and she does see. She understands. Hearing about her mother and father's exploits had given _her_ hope that she might someday be able to do the same.

"And," Killian adds, starting to walk again, "they defeated the evil queen. That's a tale for the ages."

Emma words her next statement carefully so as to not reveal how very little she knows of the evil queen. "She tried to kill my mom."

Killian laughs and not in a particularly amused way. "She tried to kill _everyone._ Your parents stopped her."

"I know," Emma says, although it is partially a lie. She doesn't know the details. Snow and Charming never talked of the dark time before she was born. When Emma would prod them about it, the look of terror and regret that crossed their faces - she learned very quickly that questioning them about it was a bad idea. She never got any satisfactory answers anyway, and she was always left with more questions than she had before. She knows this though, the evil queen was a part of her parents' past that she is glad she never had to deal with.

"You speak of my family's tales, I'm sure you have some stories of your own," Emma says, changing the subject.

Killian's eyes brighten as he grins. "That I do, and I do love to share. As the best pirate on the seas, I've had many an adventure, lass." He adds, almost as an after-thought, "Some more interesting than others."

"Tell me why you wanted immortality," Emma asks. She has been curious about that since he mentioned that was the reason the witch cursed him.

"You cut right to the heart of it, don't you?" he mutters. With a drawn out sigh, he says, "You don't want to know."

"And why not?"

"This story doesn't have a happy ending. Come on, princess, surely you want to hear something nicer?" Killian says. His words and tone are insisting that she drop it, but Emma crosses her arms over her chest and just fixes him with a look. She deserves to know the reason why she has been cursed as well.

"Tell me," she says.

He drops his gaze from hers, staring at a spot just past her. After a moment, he rolls up the sleeve of his shirt, revealing a tattoo on his arm that Emma didn't notice the last time she saw him shirtless. Given that he'd just turned from a wolf into a man for the first time, Emma supposes she can be forgiven for not noticing at the time. She studies the tattoo, reading the name imprinted across his arm.

"Milah? Who's Milah?" She pauses, studying him carefully, the grim lines in his expression, and the darkness in his gaze. "You loved her, and something happened to her, something bad," she concludes.

"Aye," he says gruffly, finally shifting to meet her gaze. There is a fierceness to his expression that takes Emma aback. She stares at him, unable to look away as he continues, "Milah was my love, and she was taken away from me, murdered, her heart crushed to dust before my eyes."

Emma gasps. Once, a very long time ago, when she hadn't found the confines of the castle to be so limiting, she'd snuck in to the kitchens and eavesdropped on the cooks as they gossiped. The conversation hadn't been anything of significance to Emma, just nonsense about who was sneaking what and who had forgotten to clean what, but then the lively chatter had turned quiet and she'd listened in as they whispered rumours of people getting their hearts ripped out of their chest, forced to do things they would never do, and then having their hearts crushed. The conversation had died then, and Emma had snuck back to her parents. The cook's look of fear had frozen the words in Emma's throat and she'd never told anyone what she'd heard though she'd never forgotten it either.

A silence stretches between them as Emma tries to figure out her next words. Finally, she says, "So, you wanted immortality, why?"

"I needed time to figure out how to kill the creature, the cursed man that killed Milah," he explains, his voice just as rough as it was before. "So, you killed him?" Emma says shakily. She takes a tentative step towards him. Killian follows the movement with his eyes, and Emma takes another step towards him and then another until they are standing a hand's breadth apart.

"Not yet," he says, inclining his head towards her, focusing his dark gaze on her face.

"Then why give up your immortality now?"

Killian laughs, but there is no humour to the sound. "Is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming actually endorsing my killing someone?"

"No," Emma says defiantly. "It just doesn't make any sense to give up your immortality if you're going up against someone, 'a creature' as you call him. I would think that you'd want the upper hand."

"Immortality does not give me the upper hand," Killian says sharply, "It only puts me on more even footing."

He leans down so that his breath ghosts over her face as he says in a dangerously quiet voice, "When I kill him, I want to kill him as Killian Jones, not as the man-beast I've become. As he dies, I want him to know that for all his powers, it was I, a mere man, that killed him."

Emma swallows slowly as she stares into his eyes. It is as if he might burst into flames at any moment, there is such a heated anger to his words. The darkness in his gaze is so different than the man she has been travelling with these past two days. She should be afraid - here is a man that she barely knows, who has revealed to her that he has spent possibly lifetimes trying to figure out how to kill someone - and yet, she isn't. There is just something about him, something about that darkness that is pulling Emma in. She is more scared of her reaction than she is of him.

"Your revenge is really that important to you?" Emma asks softly.

Killian's expression shifts. It is only a slight thing, but Emma has always been good at reading faces and she sees it, the sudden vulnerability that breaks through the dark anger as he says, "It's all I have left."

"I don't think that's true," Emma says. "There is more to life than that."

Killian scoffs. "Are you going to show it to me?"

Emma sticks her chin up at him, fixing him with a look. "It isn't my job to give you a reason to live in this world, to give up on your vengeance. You have to find that reason on your own. You have to choose to live."

Killian's eyes widen and he stares at her, the anger that he showed moments before lost to a look that Emma can only describe as wonder.

"I -" he starts and then shakes his head, stepping back and making space between them. Emma lets out a breath, and when he says, "We'll lose daylight if we keep standing around talking," she stares at him for a long, long moment before she follows him through the forest.

* * *

She doesn't know how or when it starts. One minute, she is his reluctant partner, the next she is his, well - there is something going on between them, Emma isn't going to deny that.

Sometimes, as they're trudging through the underbrush, she can feel his eyes on her. When she looks over at him, he doesn't look away and they stare at each other for so long, Emma forgets everything except his sea-coloured eyes and the heated look he gives her.

She isn't always the first one to look away, and Emma knows that she isn't the only one affected by these small shared moments.

When he extends a hand to help her over a fallen log, his hand lingers on hers long after she has stopped needing his help. The warmth from his palm travels up Emma's arm, sending a tingle down her spine, and she isn't sure where to look - at him, at the ground. She feels weird when he touches her. The pull in her gut that she feels around him is stronger with every touch that they share.

Emma isn't a shy girl, so the next evening when they decide to camp out before trying to find their way across a chasm, as Killian is sitting by the fire, instead of going straight to sleep, she sits down beside him. He gives her a questioning look, and Emma says, "So, this thing -"

"What thing?" Killian says. The light from the burning embers makes his blue eyes glow and Emma has to draw her gaze away from his to keep from staring at him.

"_This_ thing," she says. She fixes her eyes to the ground, scrunching up her nose in determination. "This thing going on between us. I know you feel it too."

A smirk curves his lips. "Love, are you propositioning me, because if you are, I am not adverse to it."

Emma can feel the blush race across her face as she scrambles to take control of the conversation again. "No, shut up and stop being an idiot for a moment."

"Insulting me now? Well, that is one way to show a man that you're attracted to him," Killian comments.

Emma rolls her eyes, giving him an 'are you serious?' look. "I'm not - forget it, you're too - you're insufferable."

She turns her back to him, facing the fire. After a moment, he says, "Emma?"

Emma could get up and go back to where she was getting ready for bed, pretend that she doesn't hear him, but the tug in her is impossible to ignore, and she finds herself turning back towards him.

"You're right, I do feel it too," he says seriously, the joking smirk gone from his face. Emma waits patiently for him to go on. After a moment, he says, "You've become quite a distraction."

Emma frowns at his words. "A distraction?" She isn't exactly sure why she feels hurt by the words, but the sting is there all the same.

Killian's eyes dart across her face as if he is reading her. "Poor choice of words. What I meant was that you're always on my mind, a presence that I can't ignore."

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Emma asks.

Killian chuckles. "Do, love? You say that as if this is a problem that needs to be solved. Feelings don't work that way. Haven't you ever read any books, any of the great romances?"

Emma's eyes widen. "Whoa, who said anything about romance? This isn't a romance," she says hastily, nervousness creeping into her voice.

Killian grins at her. It is a smile meant to knock Emma off her feet - he has probably used it on many a woman before her to charm them into seeing things his way, but Emma isn't fooled. She thinks back to her thoughts a couple of days earlier when they'd hunted the bear. She'd sworn she wouldn't let him get under her skin, yet here she is, telling him that she was feeling...something for him, and here he is, grinning at her like she is as brilliant as the stars.

She rolls her eyes at him, at herself, at the situation, and repeats, "This isn't a romance. I'm not going to be falling into your arms like some love-struck maid."

Killian's grin falls into a soft, almost-sad smile. "You wouldn't, would you?"

A silence gathers between them. Killian turns his gaze away from her, towards the fire, an expression that Emma can't read on his face, and Emma, sensing that their conversation is over for now, says, "Good night, Killian."

"Goodnight, Emma."

* * *

"I've found a bridge," Killian says when he awakens Emma the next morning. She opens her eyes to find his blue ones staring down at her, Killian crouching beside her. She stops herself from jumping only barely and meets his gaze head on.

"You could've awakened me before you went out on your own. What if something had happened to me?" Emma demands. She cringes at her tone - she is so used to being the person that everyone takes care of that it sounds like she expects the same treatment from everybody. She doesn't. She knows that outside of the circle of people that her parents have surrounded her with that there are people who don't care about her station, who don't care that she is a princess.

"I've seen you hunt," Killian says. "You can certainly take care of yourself. Besides, I didn't go that far."

"Oh," is all Emma says because he has treated her like an adult when so many others have not.

He smiles at her and reaches out a hand to help her up. They both stand and start to clear away the campsite. After that first night of getting caught by her parents' soldiers, neither of them is keen on it happening again. As Emma gathers her bow and her cloak, she casts a surreptitious glance at Killian, thinking on their conversation from last night. Did acknowledging it change anything between them?

"I think we've done a good enough job," Killian says after Emma has kicked out the embers of their dying fire. "Come on, the bridge isn't far from here."

Emma approaches the chasm and looks down into the churning waters below. She shudders; that would be an awful way to die. When she looks up from the chasm, she chases after Killian, seeing that he has walked far on ahead of her.

"How did you get across before?" Emma asks him when she catches up to him.

"I didn't come this way before," Killian says.

"So how do you know we're going the right way?" Emma asks him.

"Educated guess," he says.

She spots the bridge that they're to cross in the distance. It is a stone bridge that looks like no one has passed over it in a long time. She stops him with a hand on his arm and raises an eyebrow at him.

"Compass," he elaborates. Emma lets go of his arm and walks forward purposefully, heading towards the bridge. She steps onto it and starts walking down it.

Killian follows after her, his footsteps echoing on the stone bridge. Emma pauses, listening.

"Wait, something's coming!" Emma calls, turning to face Killian.

She doesn't even have time to make her way back towards him before they're surrounded. The trolls crawl over the sides of the bridge, two hulking creatures that block their exits off the bridge. Emma blanches as she faces them, fear running cold through her veins.

"Emma," Killian calls, fixing her with a look that says not to freak out. Emma can't help it, her heart is pounding wildly in her ears, and she lets out a yelp as the troll behind her takes a step towards her.

"Humans on our bridge," the troll behind Killian says in a gruff, inhuman voice.

"There's a price to pay to cross our bridge," the other troll says.

Killian smiles, but Emma can see the worried glint in his eyes as he says, "Name it."

"Gold, and lots of it," the troll behind Killian says, taking a step towards him.

Killian chuckles, "It seems that we'll just go back the way we came then as neither of us is able to pay your price."

Killian reaches out a hand to pull Emma towards him, but the troll behind him yells and grabs him by the arms, imprisoning him with its massive arms.

"Killian!"

The breath is knocked out of her as the troll behind her grabs her up in the same hold.

"You were threatening us!" the troll holding Emma says.

"No, this is a misunderstanding," Killian says, his eyes on Emma the whole time.

"Lies," the other troll says.

Emma breathes in and out, trying to think of a way out of this, but the stench of the troll and her fear leaves her mind clouded.

"We mean no harm, mate. Just let us go," Killian says calmly.

That only serves to make the troll squeeze him hard enough that he lets out a pained groan.

"My mother and father faced trolls together once," Emma says haughtily, the fear leaving her in a moment of clarity. She knows what she needs to do.

"Emma," Killian warns her with a look, but she rolls her eyes at him even as the troll holding her tightens its grip on her arms.

"The trolls didn't survive that encounter," Emma says. "And you won't survive this one either."

Using what Killian has taught her, she calms herself enough to shift into her other form. This surprises the troll holding her, and he loosens his hold on her enough that she is able to fall to her feet. Without thinking, she runs towards the troll holding Killian and digs her fangs into its leg. It is the foulest tasting thing Emma's ever had the misfortune of experiencing, but biting it does the job. The troll releases Killian.

He and Emma jump out of the way of the troll's reaching arms, Killian transforming into a wolf as well. Together, they roll into one of the trolls, sending him sprawling against the short stone wall of the bridge. With another push from Emma, he goes over. His partner lets out an angry shout, running for them.

Killian transforms back into a human. He rolls to pick up the sword that fell when he shifted into a wolf. As the troll runs for him, he raises his sword in one graceful motion, impaling the troll on it. With the wrenching sound of metal slicing through bone and ligaments, he pulls his sword free from the troll's gullet. The troll falls to the ground, dead.

Emma turns back into a human. They stare at the dead bodies on the bridge silently before turning to each other. Finally, Killian breaks the silence and says, "Well, that was fun."

He laughs and soon, Emma joins in. Laughing hard from relief that her planned work, that she is still alive, she has to lean against one of the walls of the bridge to hold herself up. After a while, they pull themselves together.

"My parents are going to really have something to say to me when I tell them what I've done," Emma says.

"Only good things," Killian says.

"I wish," Emma says softly. Something inside her aches, and she realizes that she misses her parents. _What are they thinking? They must be going crazy with worry_.

She frowns. Killian walks over to her and placing a hand gently on her shoulder, he asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she says quickly.

He raises an eyebrow at her. "Remember, I can see right through you."

"And I can see right through you too. Don't worry, I'm still going with you to break this curse," Emma snaps, stunning him into silence. She tries to move around, but his hand tightens on her shoulder. "What?"

"You don't have to come with me," he says seriously. "Not if you don't want to."

"Really?" Emma asks. "You seemed pretty adamant that I come with you four days ago. What's changed?"

"Nothing has changed," he says, and Emma reads the lie in his words easily. "But if you really don't want to be here, I'm not going to force you, sweetheart."

Emma frowns. Certainly the first part was a lie, something had changed - but the second - he is truly leaving the decision whether to move on up to her, and it is the most choice anyone has ever given her in her life. She doesn't know what to say.

"I -" she starts and then stops. She studies his face for a moment, not sure what she is looking for but finding it anyway in the softness of his eyes, the sincerity in his gaze helping to make her decision easy.

"I want to go with you," she say definitively. "I want to finish what I've started."

"Well then, away we go," Killian replies, patting her shoulder. He releases her and steps over the troll's dead body, walking down the bridge.

Emma trails behind him. _This isn't a romance_, her own words echo in her mind. _Haven't you ever read any books, any of the great romances?_ his words echo next. _This isn't a romance,_ she thinks again vehemently, but her thoughts betray her as she thinks back on all the books she has read and how the couple in each story had fought side by side, saving each other, and how closely the encounter with the trolls resembled not only those stories, but - and she'd even alluded to it herself - her mother and father had been in almost exactly the same situation. They'd fallen in love on a journey like this. _True love._

She lets out a tiny gasp that has Killian twisting his head to look at her.

"Emma?"

"I'm fine, it's nothing," she says quickly as she struggles to push the..._prospect_ to the back of her mind.

"Alright," his tone conveys that he doesn't believe her, but she is grateful he doesn't push further. Voicing the shared connection between them is one thing, talking about true love is another entirely.

Besides, Emma and Killian are not Emma's parents and their story won't be the same. _Not all stories have happy endings,_ she thinks to try and squash the feverish half-thoughts that try to cloud her mind, that try to make her look at him as something he is not. He is no prince come to sweep her off her feet, he is the man, the pirate that gave her his curse in order to convince her to help break it. He is a man who has admitted that he has lived so long for only thing: revenge for his lost love. He is a man with a darkness in his soul that Emma cannot even begin to fathom, but - _but_ he is also a man who looks at her like she is a sight to behold, who treats her like a capable adult and offered her something that no one else had: a chance to do what _she_ wants.

How can one man be so many things at once?

"What are you thinking about?" Killian asks her after a long silence passes between them.

"You," Emma says truthfully.

"Me? I'm flattered, love," he says. Emma doesn't need his face to tell that he is smirking.

"You assume that I'm thinking positive thoughts about you," she says.

He glances at her. "_Oh_? Now, I'm curious. So what exactly are you thinking about me?"

"I'm conflicted about you," Emma says. She bites her lip. The fact that she is willing to voice these feelings aloud only emphasizing the truth behind her words. She barely knows him, yet here she is talking to him as openly, maybe even more openly than she would with her own mother.

"You've put me in danger by forcing this curse on me. My own parents nearly killed me because you needed me to break your curse!" she says, unsurprised by the anger in her words. Why shouldn't she be angry?

"Yes, I did," he says without a hint of remorse. "There doesn't seem to be any conflict there. Go ahead, hate me for what I've done."

"That's the problem, that's the '_conflict',_" Emma says, voice raising an octave, "I don't hate you. It would be easy to hate you. You're cocky, selfish, revenge-driven. You're smooth and witty, but that only makes you all the more unlikable because you're the type that's used to getting his way. You're an unrepentant criminal, even proud of the fact that you're a pirate."

He stiffens, pausing in his descent down the sloping forest floor. Emma follows after him, stopping too. "You've known me less than a week, and already you know me so well. Congratulations," he says bitterly.

"Shut-up and let me finish," Emma snaps. He turns to face her. Eyeing her curiously, he waves a hand for her to continue.

"Sure, it would be easy to hate you, but, I guess I'm just not one for easy because I've somehow found a way to like you, flaws and all. There's more to you than just that, just the consideration you've shown me proves that. This feeling growing between us, the reason I brought it up with you last night is because I can't ignore it, it's too much to ignore. _And_ I don't even want to ignore it, and that terrifies me," she says, and this time she does surprise herself. She didn't realize that she'd been feeling that way, scared, until she said the words aloud.

"I don't want you to be scared, Emma," he says after a beat. He rubs a hand down his chin, looking thoughtful. Emma thinks that he is going to acknowledge what she has said and tell her something that will make her less confused, but all he offers her is a smile as he says, "We should get moving."

Resigned to being stuck with her confusing feelings for the time being, Emma follows behind him.

* * *

Emma and Killian trek through the land. They only stop to hunt for food and to sleep, but otherwise they walk on. They don't mention the conversation, in fact they barely talk. Emma doesn't mind though, because there is an understanding growing between the two of them that no words are needed for.

Only hours after they leave the troll bridge, Emma is still reeling from her revelation that she might be in deeper than she originally thought, feeling confused by the extent of her emotions. They meet an area of the forest filled with thorny vines hanging from the trees. Killian is making his way through it, cutting away most of the vines in his path when he stops, cursing profusely. It only takes Emma a moment to realize why. One of the vines have fallen across his face, cutting a bloody gash on his forehead.

"Damn it," Killian says.

He reaches his hand towards the cut, but Emma stops him, hissing, "Don't touch!"

He shoots her a look as she pulls him around to face her and says, "What are you doing?"

"Tending to your wound, it's bleeding a lot," she murmurs, watching the blood trickle down his forehead. She pulls at the scarf hanging out the front pocket of his pants and says, "Do you have any kind of alcohol?"

A small smile plays at his lips. "That's going to burn."

"Don't be a baby, you can handle it," Emma says.

Killian watches her for a beat and then reaches for the flask attached to his hip. He hands it to her, and she opens it and douses the scarf in the alcohol. She hands him back the flask. He shakes it, tsking at how much alcohol she's used.

"This is a bloody waste," he mutters, "It's just a small cut."

She rolls her eyes at him and then steps in closer. They meet eyes for the smallest of moments, but it is long enough to make Emma feel nervous as she pulls his head down towards her with one hand, cleaning the wound on his forehead with the other.

"Be gentle with me, sweetheart," he says. Their gazes catch again, and this time Emma holds the glance longer, feeling pulled in by the expression in his eyes. He has never looked at her like this before; it is a different kind of intensity than what she is used to and she can't tell what he is thinking.

"I'm always gentle," she says softly.

His gaze moves from her eyes to her lips. As Killian stares at her, his tongue darts out, licking across his lips, and Emma's hand trembles as she finishes cleaning his face. His skin feels heated underneath her hand on his cheek. When she is done cleaning the wound and satisfied that the bleeding has come to a standstill, she starts to pull away. His hand shoots up, capturing her wrist.

Her breath catches in her throat when he slowly brings her hand up to his lips, pressing a feather-light kiss to her knuckles.

"Thank you," he says, and Emma finally understands the look he is giving her. He _wants _her, and Emma looks him up and down, truly looking at him for what feels like the first time. She feels heated as she looks at him, and this must be a day for revelations, because Emma's mouth drops open as she realizes that she wants him too. Sure, before she recognized that he was handsome, who could ignore that, but now, the heat is spreading all over her and she yearns for him in a way that is purely physical and totally overwhelming.

She pulls her hand out of his grasp and blushes at the husky tone in her voice as she says, "Now that your cut is cleaned, let's keep going."

Killian smiles knowingly, and still feeling overwhelmed by the realization of her physical attraction, Emma frowns, annoyed at his easy smile. His next movement though erases the frown from her face as he touches a hand to her cheek, lightly stroking her face before pulling away with a wistful look.

"You're right," he says, sounding disappointed. "Come on."

He lifts his sword again, cutting through the vines, and Emma watches him as he loses himself in the motion, unable to forget the look on his face, as if he had wanted to acknowledge what he wanted, but had recognized that she wasn't ready for that yet. Emma scoffs at herself. _Or maybe it's all in your imagination, and he doesn't feel the same at all._

He glances back at her, and she catches his gaze, eyes widening when the intense look returns to his eyes. He turns away, the look chased from his eyes by a shake of his head, but Emma saw it, and she doesn't scoff at herself again, this time assured that she isn't hallucinating his feelings at all.

Emma thinks back to their earlier conversation, when she told him she was scared of how she was feeling and he'd responded that he didn't want her to be scared, and she realizes that he'd truly meant what he said. Again and again, she catches him looking at her with that same look of want in his eyes, but he never acts on it. He is waiting, she realizes, waiting for her to be ready, and that fact makes her meet his gaze every time he looks at her so she can tell him with her eyes what she is feeling with her heart, that she isn't ready, not yet, but she is getting there.

Two days pass like this, with them sharing looks back and forth, sometimes even sharing furtive, hesitant touches. Emma feels like she is on the cusp of something more, the pull she feels to him an almost constant ache inside of her.

They're crossing through a large clearing when Emma notices it. All the time they've spent walking, although things have been silent between them, they were usually accompanied by the sounds of the forest, of the animals and the bugs and the wind moving through the trees. Here is so silent that it is unnerving. Emma feels the hairs on the back of her neck stick up as they walk.

"Killian!" she calls out.

He turns to her, and Emma is both relieved and discouraged when she sees that he is as on edge as she is.

"Emma - "

The forest suddenly erupts in noise. The ground shakes and Emma struggles to remain standing as something large and fast moves towards them, and then it is breaking through the tree line.

Emma has never seen an ogre before except in picture books as a child, and the sight of one real and up close is more terrifying than she could have imagined.

"Run!" Killian shouts as he turns towards the monster.

"And what are you going to do? Fight it on your own?" Emma snaps back. Just the idea that she would leave him alone to face this ogre makes Emma angry, but the anger quickly disappears under her mounting fear as the ogre starts to sniff the air, as if searching for them.

Changing into a wolf won't help in this situation. Emma doesn't know what to do as Killian pulls out his sword and yells, "Over here, you big oaf," charging at the ogre. The ogre roars back and knocks Killian to the side with one of its giant fists as if he were a mere ragdoll. Emma tries to run to him, but the ogre cuts her off, heading towards Killian's fallen body.

She doesn't know where it comes from, but one moment she is fearing for Killian's life, and the next a golden light shoots out of her, blasting over the whole of the clearing. The ogre goes flying, slamming into a tree with such a force that it brings the tree down and knocks the ogre out.

_What the hell? _Emma shakes her head, pushes the question as to how she did that to the back of her mind, and races to Killian's side. He doesn't move when she calls his name, nor does he move when she tugs at his arm. He looks so serene lying there that Emma can almost imagine that he is merely asleep, but the lack of the usual rise and fall of his chest tells her otherwise.

"Killian," she says softly, not trusting her own voice. "Please wake up."

He still doesn't move, and Emma breaks down, laying her head on his chest and crying. "You're not supposed to die on me, you idiot. It wasn't part of our deal," she whispers harshly, and that is when she hears it. Underneath her head, Killian's heart is beating.

"I wouldn't want to break a deal," Killian coughs out. Emma jumps off of him, wiping at her face hastily, not wanting him to see her tears.

Slowly, he sits up, grimacing in pain as he does so. Instead of tending to his own injuries however, he asks, "Are you okay?"

"I thought you were dead. Your heart wasn't beating," Emma says. Her voice cracks - she can't help it; she is still upset.

Reaching over to her, he cups her cheeks in his hands, and says seriously, "I'm sorry to worry you. Won't happen again."

Emma swipes at the wetness in her eyes and although her voices shakes, she says authoritatively, "It better not."

Killian laughs and then clutches at his ribcage, a pained expression crossing his face.

"It's probably broken," she says, looking at him in sympathy. "Don't try to move. We'll just make camp here tonight. It doesn't look like that ogre will be waking up anytime soon."

Killian frowns. "You never know," he says, trying to stand up.

Emma forces him still. "It doesn't matter. If it wakes up again, I'll just do what I did the first time."

"And what exactly _did_ you do?" Killian asks. He raises an eyebrow in question, glancing over at the passed out ogre.

"How the hell should I know?" Emma says casually. "Something shot out of my chest and knocked him out."

"Ah," Killian says as if that makes perfect sense. "I told you that you were magic."

Emma purses her lips together and then says, "Well, truthfully, I didn't really believe you until this moment."

She considers the weight of what she has done. In saving Killian's life, she'd used magic. Her parents had always cautioned her against it when she was younger, and all she wanted to do was wield magic like the fairies that sometimes came to visit. _Magic comes with a price_, they'd drilled into her head, and now she can't stop herself from wondering what price she will have to pay.

Had they known that she was magic? Is that why they'd been so adamant on making sure that she knew that?

It is just one of the many things she'll have to ask them when she gets home, it seems.

"Come on, we need to move," Killian says, struggling to sit up again when the passed out ogre lets out a loud grunt. He bats her hands away when she tries to still him again. "The pain is receding, slowly but surely. I can already feel my ribs healing. One of the pluses of the whole being an immortal shape shifter is that I heal quickly."

Emma considers his words for a moment and then sighs, moving aside and helping him to stand. If he says he is alright then she isn't going to argue with him. He is grown man, has been one for a long time, he knows his limits much better than she does.

"I guess I haven't thought of the immortality thing that much. It never occurred to me that we would heal fast. What other things does this curse improve?" she asks as they walk at a slow pace past the passed out ogre.

"Most of those improvements are only noticeable as a wolf, you know, heightened senses, super strength. Instinct becomes harder to ignore, things like that," he says.

"You know when you say it like that, this sounds like more a blessing than a curse," Emma says.

Killian stops and turns to face her. "Oh, it's a curse alright," he snaps. The smile falls from Emma's face as she stares at him. She hasn't seen a glimpse of this darkness in him since they talked of Milah.

_Oh._

"Do you know what it's like to live for hundreds of years with only the hope of vengeance to keep you going? Do you know what that kind of rage does to a man's soul?"

"I can only imagine," Emma says, but what she really means is she can see it in the very way he holds himself as he talks about his pain, can see it in the way his blue eyes seem to darken and storm as he speaks.

"But -" she pauses. She can't really determine what he might do when he is like this. Right now, all of Emma's instincts are screaming that he is dangerous, she should get away, far away as fast as she can. He is a threat - but she just can't find it in herself to be threatened by him, and so she continues, "This is the choice you made. You chose to seek vengeance. You could've just...let it go."

"Tell me something, Emma, what would you do in my situation? Would you just _let it go_?" His voice is steady, like the calm before a storm.

"I don't know," Emma says truthfully. "I really don't know. I don't know what it's like to experience that kind of pain, so I can't say what I would do if I did. Maybe I would be just like you, consumed by my hate and anger."

His expression turns curious then as he says, "Is that what you think of me? That I'm, as you say, _consumed_ by my need for revenge?"

"No, I actually don't think that," Emma says. "Do you think if I thought that I would've agreed to come with you? Obviously, you don't know me very well, buddy, if you think that. You've proved to me time and time again that there's more to you than that, so don't go acting like there isn't, it's stupid."

Killian stares at her for a long moment, and she is waiting for him to snap at her for her choice of words when to her surprise, he lets out a laugh.

"You're something special, Emma. You really are," he says, only making her more confused. "I haven't had anyone speak to me like that in gods know how long. It's oddly refreshing, being told off by you."

"Glad I could be helpful," Emma says sarcastically, still confused by the shift in the conversation. Is he just trying to deflect the conversation to something else? It would make sense, him not wanting to hear her tell him what she thinks of his vengeance, but despite how much sense it would make, Emma doesn't think that is it. Honestly, what she really thinks is that he genuinely enjoyed being told off by her, and that is all kinds of weird - and oddly endearing because she hasn't scared him off. She always thought that if she showed this side of herself to someone, that they would be put off by it. That he isn't only makes her like him more.

At this point, Emma has given up on trying to make those feelings go away. She just has to trust herself, trust and believe that she isn't making a mistake in her feelings.

* * *

It is almost the end of the next day when Emma finally sees the edge of the forest. She runs ahead of Killian, hears him chuckle as she touches land outside of the forest.

"I'd never thought I'd see anything but trees and mountains and hills again," Emma says when Killian finally joins her. She stares at the beach before her. It is a secluded place, and there is only one ship floating in the port.

"You've left your boat alone for this long and no one has taken it?" Emma asks, surprised.

Killian walks around until he is facing her and grins. "The Jolly Roger won't sail without its captain."

"More magic? Why am I not surprised?" Emma says. The look she gives him is not amused.

"You don't seem too keen on magic, and considering you have it, I'd think you would appreciate it more," Killian says, studying her carefully. Emma looks away.

"My parents always taught me that magic always comes with a price that you might not be willing to pay," Emma says. It is as close as she can come to admitting that she has been worrying about the price of her saving him and worrying about what using magic has done to her.

He understands what she isn't saying and says, "Magic does have a price, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you'll succumb to it. I believe in you, love. You'll be fine. Trust me."

Emma bites her lip, considering his words. She _does_ trust him, so why shouldn't she believe him now?

"I trust you," Emma says. Brightly, she continues, "Now are you going to take me to your ship and give me the tour?"

He smiles at her widely and says, "Tour it is. Come on, princess."

"My name is Emma," she says, faking annoyance. For a moment, he actually believes her, and she can see that he is opening his mouth to correct himself when she sticks her tongue out at him childishly. He shakes his head, laughing quietly.

"Alright then,_ love,_" he says, waving her ahead of him.

He has called her love many times before , but Emma feels her breath hitch in her throat, because it just feels so different this time. She fumbles for words, trying to think of a response. Killian smiles, leans in to her, and says, all cockiness, "Words aren't necessary."

His tone is enough to level Emma out, and she scoffs, "You think too much of yourself."

"Do I?" he smirks.

Emma cocks her head to the side, nodding quite seriously.

Killian isn't fooled. He laughs and says, "Come along love, the sea awaits!"

* * *

After he gives her a tour of the ship ("my ship, she's a marvel," he says, and Emma laughs at his good humour; his smile makes his eyes just seem to _sparkle_), Emma takes a nap in her cabin. She wakes up a short time after she has fallen asleep, and tries to go back to sleep. However, something feels off and that feeling makes it impossible for her to even close her eyes.

She leaves her cabin and heads back above deck to see Killian at the helm.

"Can't sleep," Emma says to the question in his eyes as she joins him by the helm. "I feel weird."

"It's the full moon," Killian says. "The longer you go without changing while it's out, the stronger the need is."

"Yeah, it feels like I'm trying to climb out of my skin - how do you deal with that feeling?" Emma says.

Killian glances away from her, looking out over the sea before him and says, "I think of other things."

Emma takes a step towards him, the movement forcing him to return his gaze to her face. "What kind of other things?" she asks, his evasive answer making her curious.

"You can change if you want, it'll make you feel better," he says, an obvious attempt to change the subject.

Emma isn't having any of it. "What _kind_ of other things?"

He fixes her with a look of exasperation. "Like how it would feel to kiss you, to fit your lips against mine and taste your mouth," he snaps.

He turns away from her as if that is the end of the conversation. Maybe it should be, they've been dancing around this for so long now, and to have it out in the open...Emma is sure he means for her to be scared off, but she is done being scared of her feelings.

She crosses the distance between them. Hesitantly, she grasps his face in her hands and pulls him towards her. They hover there for a moment, until Killian closes his eyes and Emma lets out a barely there sigh before pressing her lips to his. Something sparks inside her, it feels like..._magic_. One hand drops from his face to grasp the cloth of his shirt, and Killian's hands wrap around her, crushing her to him as she kisses him. Killian's tongue presses against her lips, and Emma opens for him instinctively. It feels like she is being built up on the inside, only to be taken apart piece by piece every time he moves against her.

By the time they pull apart, a lifetime has passed it seems, and Emma struggles to catch her breath. They're silent for a long moment, standing in each other's arms, and then Emma clears her throat and says, "You're right, that's quite the distraction."

Killian stares at her like he can't decide what to do next. Emma totally understands the feeling. After a moment, she says, "So, what happens now?"

"Now?" Killian says quietly, eyeing the floor. When he looks back up, there is a smile curling his lips. "Now, I kiss you again. And after that, I'll send you off to bed like the gentleman I am."

Emma smiles and closes the distance between them. "Sounds like a plan to me."

He kisses her then, surging forward to capture her lips with his. One of his hands slides in her hair, the other pulling her close. When they pull apart, Killian grins at her widely, and Emma doesn't even bother to wipe the giddy smile from her face, too happy to be contained.

"Good night, Emma," he says, waving her off.

"Good night," she replies.

* * *

Emma manages to sleep through the entire evening and most of the next morning without waking up. The ship rocks gently beneath her, and she wonders briefly if she noticed its movements before. After she eats something in the galley, she makes her way above deck to find the sun high in the sky. The wind is fierce though, and her hair blows back, whipping her in the face. She tries to make her way towards Killian but the wind makes it difficult, and what she sees over the side of the ship stops her in her tracks. She heads over the railings to make sure that her eyes aren't deceiving her.

"Emma!" Killian cries, coming from the helm.

Emma grips the railings so tightly that her knuckles whiten. "That isn't what I think it is," she says when Killian comes up behind her.

"Aye," Killian says. "It is."

Emma gulps, staring at the rows and rows of teeth of the giant..._thing_. Killian places a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Charybdis, she'll suck you in and drown you before you have the chance to cry out. But it's not her we have to worry about. I want you to get below."

"Why?" Emma asks, and then she turns and sees it. Dangling from a cavern are twelve gruesome legs. Emma follows the writhing limbs to their source, a monster with six heads attached to impossibly long necks. Two of the monster's heads shoot out into the water. Black teeth and fangs pierce the dolphin from either end and together the heads tear it apart, fighting over the dolphin's corpse.

"We're going to sail close to Scylla. I won't risk you getting caught by her. She'll swallow and eat you whole. Do you understand me? I _need_ you to go below deck, out of her reach."

Emma glares at him. It would be smarter to get below and she can't deny that Scylla terrifies her, but if he thinks she is going to let him risk his life while she sits pretty below...

"I'm staying," she says defiantly.

He glares at her, but doesn't argue any longer. "Your bow," he says, pointing towards the hook by the helm where he has kept her weapon.

Emma nods. They both hurry to the helm. Whilst Killian takes the wheel, Emma picks up her bow and straps the quiver to her back.

Killian turns the wheel, bringing them closer to the monster's cavern. At first, nothing happens as they pass. Emma's sigh of relief is cut off quickly however when one of the heads veers towards them.

A calm washes over her. With a speed learned from years of practice, Emma draws her bow and looses an arrow that hits its target dead on. The biting head retracts before it can take Killian, an arrow lodged in its throat. Emma uses the distraction to move to Killian's side. The ship speeds onward but not before the monster tries another attack. Its cry of anger pierces the air as Emma loads one arrow after the other, deflecting all of the monster's attempts to grab them.

Black blood drips on the deck from the wounded heads, and it is looking at those puddles when they finally escape the treacherous strait and Scylla's reach that makes Emma stumble forward, her vision blurred. She hears Killian's voice like a far off sound. She shouldn't be reacting like this; only moments ago she was perfectly fine, but now her chest feels tight and the way her mind keeps replaying the moment the head had shot out straight towards Killian. _Why now_? Even when she'd thought the ogre had killed him she hadn't felt this kind of pure, unstoppable panic.

"Emma, talk to me. Just talk to me, love."

_Love_.

The pieces fall into place. She is in love, the kind of love that is so powerful that it can bring you to your knees. _True love._

"I love you," she blurts out as Killian's hands touch her face.

He freezes.

"You do?" he says and scans her face with his eyes. "You _do._"

"I do," Emma confirms.

"Emma, I - I love you too," he says slowly, as if the words are hard for him to say. Emma frowns, but then he cups her cheeks softly with his hands, bringing her face to his and kissing her just as softly. "I love you," he murmurs against her lips when they pull apart. He is smiling now, and Emma smiles too. She doesn't want to look away from him but he curses and pulls away, heading back towards the wheel.

"I need to keep to the helm for the rest of our journey or else the sea will try to sail us off course," he says. His mouth is downturned and he looks positively grumpy at the prospect of having to sail his ship. Emma wants to laugh - a pirate not wanting to sail, now there's a contradiction - but she doesn't because she understands.

"It's okay," Emma says. "I'll stay with you."

His frown fades into a blissful smile. "Would you like to learn how to sail?" he asks, waggling his eyebrows at her as if he'd just told a dirty joke.

Emma shakes her head, amused. "I'd love to."

* * *

They spend the rest of the day and the beginning of the next in calm waters. About an hour after Killian first catches sight of land, Emma is finally able to get a clear picture of where they are headed. Before them is an island so unwelcoming that Emma looks to Killian and says, "This is really where we're going?"

"Are you scared?" he asks, walking close enough to her that he is able to encircle her from behind with his arms.

Emma allows herself to fall into his touch. "I'm not scared," she says truthfully. "It just doesn't look like anyone could possibly live here."

"We -" He pauses for so long that Emma shifts in his arms to look at him. "We don't have to go if you don't want to."

"I want to break this curse," she says. "I want to go home."

"And not spend the rest of your immortal life sailing the seas with me. I can see how that would get boring," he says dryly.

Emma giggles, surprising herself with the sound. She says, "Captain Killian Jones are you trying to convince me to stay with you?"

"Aye," he says seriously. "It could be fun, lass."

"It could be," Emma says wistfully, remembering how two weeks ago all she wanted was an adventure. Now that she has it, she doesn't want to part with it. Still she wants to return home, wants to see her family. Emma bites her lip. She wants _Killian_ to meet her family, though she knows that it isn't likely Snow and David will approve of him. She doesn't care though. She has finally found something, _someone _that makes her world come to life, and she isn't going to give that up.

He pulls away from her, releasing her from his arms. "I need to go get ready to pull the ship in, love."

"Alright," Emma says and lets him go.

After passing through the strait of Charybdis and Scylla, making port on the island is a simple thing. The island is surrounded by dangerous rocks that the ship could break itself upon, but Killian navigates it smoothly, pulling in close enough that they can set loose the small boat to take them to shore. He lowers the anchor. Emma helps him lower the small boat over the side of the ship and then they both climb into it and lower themselves into the water.

He takes up the oars by himself even though Emma offers to help him. She shrugs her shoulders, confused but grateful. He rows the boat to shore. It doesn't take them long to reach the shore.

"We're here," Killian says as she steps off the small boat onto land.

Together, they pull the small boat onto the sandy beach. The ground beneath Emma is rocky, barren. Ahead of her, she finally sees it, a castle built into the very rock of the mountain that covers the island.

"Is that where we're headed?" she asks Killian, pointing at the castle.

"Yeah."

He scratches at his chin and says, "Whatever happens, a deal is a deal."

"O-K," Emma says, wrinkling her nose in confusion. "What do you think is going to happen?"

A smirk slowly spreads across his face. "This is a witch we're dealing with; she might not play nice."

"And that's why you have me," Emma says. "I'll give her some of my power and she'll cure us. Besides, if she tries anything, I can just whammy her with my own magic."

"That's my girl," he says with such a look of pride that Emma's skin warms as it reddens and can't even bring herself to be angry at her reaction.

"So let's quit standing around and head up there so we can get off this cursed island," Emma says, studying the barren features once again.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," he says, starting to walk towards the stairs carved into the mountain, leading up to castle.

Emma follows him. As they climb the stairs, a seriousness falls over him, leaving them walking along in silence. Emma doesn't know what it is, but now she feels nervous, like something terrible might happen. She tries to push the thoughts away, but they keep coming back with every step she takes.

She almost tells him to stop, almost asks him to turn back, but Emma is no coward so she keeps her mouth shut and presses on. When they reach the top, the doors are already open for them. Inside looks cold and ominous. The heels on Killian's and Emma's boots click as they walk down the marble covered floor and down the hall.

"Killian?" Emma says, his name a question.

"I know where I'm going," he says.

It is telling that he doesn't tell her not to worry, not that his reassurances would've helped. Emma feels a chill race down her spine, a cold in her bones that just won't go away.

They walk down the long hallway, bypassing the stairs, and heading towards a back room. The first thing Emma sees when she enters the room is a roaring fire, and then she sees her.

She doesn't look much like how Emma would expect a witch to look. She isn't craggy, she isn't old. She is beautiful in a cold way. The witch smiles at Emma. The expression has no warmth to it - it is almost menacing.

"I knew you'd bring her to me," the witch says, looking from Killian to Emma with such a greedy look in her eyes that Emma takes a step back.

She doesn't get far because seconds later there are ropes encircling her, pulling her off the ground and pinning her to a back wall with a force that knocks the air from her lungs.

"Now, now, Regina, there's no need for the violence," Killian says. His words confuse Emma. It sounds like he is almost laughing. Shouldn't he be scared for her? Shouldn't he be trying to help her?

"Killian," she says weakly, trying to catch her breath.

She looks between Killian and Regina. Regina walks over to Killian, placing a hand on his shoulder in a way that Emma's mind instantly rebels at.

"She wasn't going anywhere," Killian says. "She doesn't know anything."

Emma wrinkles her brow in confusion. Nothing he is saying is making any sense.

"Anything? So how did you get her to come with you?" Regina says.

Killian eyes Emma and then says, "I wove a lovely tale. Naive as she is, she believed every word."

"You lied to me? You said that she needed more magic...you said you needed me to break your curse," Emma says, her words coming out shaky. She feels light-headed, like the world is moving too fast, and she is moving too slow.

"I did," he says.

"You _lied _to me!" she shouts, almost hysterical.

"Never trust a wolf, sweetie," Regina says, eyeing Killian with something akin to pride.

Emma fights against her bonds again to no avail. Maybe she can conjure up some magic...she tries, but nothing happens. She is hopelessly stuck to the wall.

"My payment?" Killian says, sounding bored.

"Killian!" Emma yells. He doesn't turn around, his hand still held out towards Regina.

"Killian!" Emma says again just as Regina hands him a small bottle.

"Drink this," Regina says. "It should heal you and anyone unfortunate enough to have come into contact with you."

"Thanks," Killian says. He uncorks the bottle and swallows it in one gulp.

Tossing the empty bottle between his hands, he finally turns to face Emma. "Sorry, love," he says. "But a deal is a deal."

"What are you going to do to her?" Killian says, shifting his attention back to Regina.

Regina laughs, loud and wild and says, "You might as well stick around and watch. You won't be getting very far if you leave anyway."

Killian narrows his eyes at her. "What do you mean?"

"I'm about to cast a curse that will take all of us to a land where the only happy ending will be mine. And it's thanks to you that I can do that."

"I'm not quite following you," Killian says.

"Once I rip her heart out," Regina says, pointing at Emma, "there will be nothing to break this curse. Snow White and that oaf, Prince Charming, thought that they had killed me, thought that they'd stopped me from ever bringing them down. They're going to be in for quite a surprise."

Emma gasps, the pieces falling into place. The witch that cursed Killian, _Regina_, is the evil queen that her parents defeated. _They should've told me about her, warned me_, Emma thinks, tears of frustration actually pulling at her eyes. But why should they have told her anything? They thought Regina was dead and gone, a threat removed.

The threat was very, _very_ real.

Emma is suddenly pulled from the wall, the ropes holding her there pulling her across the room to kneel at Regina's feet. She tries to stand but the ropes hold her down, so she settles for glaring at her angrily. Regina smiles down at her. She touches her hand to Emma's cheek. Emma pulls away from her touch.

"Such a lovely girl. It really is too bad that I'll have to kill her. Your heart would've been one for my collection," Regina says.

"You'll never have my heart," Emma snaps.

"Why? Has someone stolen it from you already?" Regina asks with a wicked grin. Emma blanches, not daring to look at Killian. She doesn't want Regina to know how easily he'd tricked her, how easily she'd given him her heart just to have him break it.

Regina must see it in her face though because she turns to Killian and says, "You _certainly_ did your job well. I'll be sure to reward you in the next world."

"And if I don't want to go to this world?" Killian says.

Regina chuckles. "Oh, but you don't have a choice."

Killian inclines his head, seeming to consider her words. "I'm always up for an adventure I suppose, and as long as Rumpelstiltskin is there as well..."

"He will be. You'll have your revenge," Regina says.

Her eyes glow dangerously as suddenly the fire roars larger and brighter than it was before. Regina waves her hand in the air and a gilded box appears. She looks down at it, and for a moment, Emma thinks, Regina looks almost sad, subdued in a way that she wasn't before. The expression is quickly replaced by a smile as Regina walks towards the fire.

Emma looks to Killian. She doesn't want to. She feels utterly betrayed by him but she just needs to see it in his eyes, to see for certain that everything she thought he felt for her was a lie.

What she sees instead is him nod at her. If she'd blinked she'd have missed the warmth in his eyes, the way he gave her the same star struck look as he'd given her before.

_Killian_, she thinks, desperately, a plea for him to look at her that way again.

Instead, his expression turn cold as Regina turns around, stomping over to where Emma is hanging. The ropes pull Emma from the wall to a place just a couple of inches from Regina's unsmiling face.

"Your parents have taken _everything_ from me. Everything I have ever loved. My happiness. Now, I'll take away theirs," she snaps into Emma's face. She leaves Emma there, stalking back towards the fire. She opens the box and pulls out an object that glows bright red. In dawning horror, Emma realizes that it is a hard, perfectly preserved. With one swift motion, Regina casts it into the fire.

Regina turns around. "It's time," she spits at Emma, a mad rage burning in her eyes as she closes the distance between them and her hand reaches out towards Emma.

"No," Killian shouts and jumps between Emma and Regina.

"What a pity," Regina says.

Emma stares in horror as Regina reaches her hand inside Killian's chest. She doesn't think. Suddenly the ropes holding her down loosen their hold, and Emma is able to break free. She can feel the magic pulsing through her, and she uses it, focusing all of her power on Regina.

Regina tries to throw up a barrier of purple light but is thrown across the room in a golden rush of magic. Killian falls to the floor. Emma runs over to him, kneeling by his side.

"Killian," she says. His eyes aren't open and his breaths are shallow. "Killian," she repeats, shaking him lightly.

Smoke starts to fill the room from the fire, a dark purple that swallows up everything in its path. Emma shakes Killian harder, urging him to awaken. Finally, he opens his eyes.

"Hey beautiful," he says, lifting up his hand to stroke her cheek weakly.

The last thing she sees is Killian smiling at her faintly before the smoke engulfs them, and she sees nothing at all.


	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Author's Note: **So, I stated that I would probably update this fic with the second part sometime before season 3 is over, but if you prefer, I could update the sequel as a chaptered fic. Would you rather see the fic sooner, but perhaps with haphazard updates (my inspiration is very fickle so I wouldn't be able to promise steady weekly updates) or would you rather wait until the fic is complete and read it all in one go?

**Edit: **I've decided to update it as I finish each part of the fic. As this fic will be set in an AU season 1, the parts will be separated like episodes on the show. I'll start posting as soon as I have the first five "episodes" written (just so the updates won't be so far apart). Thank you for your input and reviews! :D


	3. Let Me Go - Prologue and Part 1

**Title: **Let Me Go

**Summary: **Sequel to DFT, UTM. Killian wakes up in a nightmare where Emma is gone and the Evil Queen's curse has been enacted, bringing him to a strange new world. Desperate for revenge against both Regina and Rumplestiltskin, he goes out to finish the two of them only to find that time resets itself every day and he is trapped in an endless cycle. Unable to avenge either of his loves, his heart grows colder with each day stuck in this cruel world. Fast forward to where a 28 year old Emma Swan makes a birthday wish and finds Henry Mills on her doorstep. He brings her to a town called Storybrooke where every fairytale character she has ever known is trapped between two worlds...or so Henry says. She meets the wickedly handsome Killian Jones who gives her déjà vu like nobody's business and makes her feel things that she has never felt before. She can't seem to stay away, enchanted by his blue eyes, so familiar, but she refuses to open her heart to him because she has been burned before and she won't be burned again.

**Notes: **AU season 1 with some background from season 2 thrown in. The curse is very flexible in this fic; it adapts to new parameters. It prevents people from being killed in the town before Emma comes back, everything must go unchanged until her arrival; no one ages, no one dies; if someone does, the town is reset. Time is their prison, after all.

**Warnings (will be added to as story goes on): **dark! Killian, graphic depictions of violence

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

"Are you sure it was her?"

Ruby nods. "I followed her scent all the way down to the shore, but lost her there. I'm sorry, Snow."

Tears welling in his eyes, Charming bangs his fists on the table. "I thought that wolf had killed her. I thought - I tried to kill my baby. _My baby girl_. And now she's off to gods know where with gods know who."

Snow places a hand on his shoulder, but tears are streaking down her cheeks as well. Ruby doesn't know what to say. She runs a hand down her face. She should've run faster, harder. She should've gotten to them before they'd had the chance to reach the shore. She should've been _here_ to stop this before it even started, but making sure the wolves of the Enchanted Forest were safe and protected had seemed more important - and it isn't like she could compare the importance of protecting her kind to the importance of protecting her best friends' daughter, there is no way she can make that comparison, but at the moment, she curses herself, wishing she could've done more.

"We need a ship; we need to go after her," Snow says suddenly. She wipes the tears from his eyes, her expression set in a look of determination. "We need to get Grumpy to organize the men, the best sailors that we have. We _have _to go after her."

Charming shakes his head as if clearing his eyes. "Yes, of course," he says.

Ruby opens her mouth to volunteer, but the bellow of a horn ringing through the castle stops the words in her throat. Eyes widening, she looks at Snow and Charming in growing horror, and her expression is mimicked on their faces. They know what that horn means.

_The curse._

* * *

**PART 1**

* * *

Killian awakes in utter darkness.

He turns his head sharply from side to side and tries to determine where he is. It looks like the cabin of his ship - but the last thing he remembers is Regina trying to rip out his heart, the hot and tight feeling as she squeezed it in her grasp, and Emma -

_Emma_.

He remembers Emma. _Hey, beautiful_. Beautiful, strong, vibrant Emma, staring down at him as he stroked her cheek.

He remembers dark purple smoke surrounding them like a particularly venomous cloud.

He remembers nothing at all.

He climbs out of his bed and reaches over to turn on the gas light, but finds nothing there. His hand brushes the back wall of his cabin, searching for the light in the darkness. What he finds instead is a strange switch on the wall. Wary, he flicks the switch and jumps back when bright light engulfs the room.

If waking up in his cabin without Emma by his side wasn't the first indication that something was very wrong, this would be it.

He looks up to the ceiling to see glass panels, behind which the light comes shooting into the room. It isn't the only that has changed. He is wearing clothes much different than his normal garb. He looks...bizarre in the tight sleeveless black top and the dark blue pants in a material that is almost as confining as his leather pants, though much rougher against his skin. He gives up on trying to figure out the light and the outfit before he starts; he has more important things to worry about than the renovations to his ship and to his wardrobe.

He needs to find Emma.

He can't feel her anymore. When he first noticed the feeling in his gut, like a gentle pulling sensation whenever Emma was around, he'd thought nothing of it. And then he'd come to know her, and he'd realized what it was long before the words "I love you," ever left his mouth. Emma was his true love.

And now his true love is nowhere to be found.

When Killian reaches the top deck, he looks out into the strangeness of a new world. On the port side of his ship, a seagull perches, poised to fly. It stares at him for a moment and then flies off, cawing loudly. He turns his attention away from the flying seagull. His ship is docked at a port, and before it is a town unlike one he has ever seen. Everything about it is wrong, from the designs of the buildings down to the very stone of the streets.

Regina's curse worked.

Killian goes back below deck, back to his cabin to see if he can find his sword. He knows nothing of the rules of this world and without his immortality, he is easy prey.

He finds nothing in his cabin, though. Frustrated he storms back above deck and leaves the ship. He'll just have to use whatever he finds in this world to protect him.

He walks towards the edges of the town. In some strange twist of fate, the first person he sees is Rumplestiltskin entering a shop. The green scaled skin is gone. Instead, he looks the same as the first time Killian saw him. He looks human.

Killian smirks. This world is starting to look better and better.

He follows the crocodile into the shop to find him standing before a glass display of goods. All around him in fact are trinkets, baubles, and a myriad of other things, ranging in size, shape, and colour. It is a veritable trade shop, perfect for Rumplestiltskin. Probably the only thing he loved more than making people suffer was making deals.

"You are my first customer of the day. Congratulations," Rumplestiltskin says. Smiling, he braces his cane before him and clasps his hands over the top.

"Customer -" Killian starts. He stares at Rumplestiltskin with incredulous eyes.

Rumplestiltskin's eyes narrow, the smile slipping at the corners of his mouth. He gives Killian a careful onceover. "Yes, I said customer, though from the looks of you...If you are not here to buy, then leave. I am not a charitable man; you will find no free goods here."

"You don't know who I am?" Killian asks. When Rumplestiltskin only shakes his head, Killian repeats the question.

"No, I don't know who you are. Should I?" the crocodile snaps, his face set in grim lines.

Killian walks towards him, the incredulity giving way to a white hot rage. "You killed Milah. You took away the woman I loved, and _you can't even remember_. Remember this then!" Killian shouts.

Rumplestiltskin's eyes widen as Killian picks up the brass clock on the table and swings it, bashing him in the head with it. Rumplestiltskin falters. A noise gurgles in his throat, and Killian hits him again and again until he falls to the ground.

Killing the crocodile was surprisingly easy. Killian breathes harshly. There is blood on his sleeve and arm, speckles from where Rumplestiltskin's blood splattered on him.

He looks down at Rumplestiltskin's broken body, the shattered remains of the man whose memory had tormented Killian for so long.

He feels empty.

Vengeance should feel more fulfilling than this. Avenging Milah should feel like justice. Instead it feels like nothing, nothing at all.

Killian reckons that the years that have passed since Milah's death are just dulling his reaction. That and the fact that he still hasn't completed his revenge.

Regina is next.

It wouldn't do for anyone to find his handiwork before he has a chance to find Regina. He reaches down and looks through Rumplestiltskin's pockets for the keys. It takes him a while to figure out which ones lock up the shop, but eventually he does and he locks the door behind him as he leaves. No one is on the street to notice him. _Good_.

He turns the corner and heads towards the largest building in the town. If Regina is anywhere, it will be there.

It doesn't take him long to reach the building. When he enters the building, there is a man sitting at the desk just by the stairs. Killian walks over to him. He feels at ease, he could easily take the man down if he tried anything, his short, stubby frame no match for Killian's lean, muscled one.

"Are you here to see the mayor?" The man asks when Killian reaches him.

"The what?" Killian asks.

The man looks at him like he has lost his mind. Eyebrows scrunched together, he says, "Are you here to see the Mayor? Mayor Regina Mills?"

"Oh." Killian forces a smile. "Oh, yes, I am."

"Sign the sign in sheet here and then head up the stairs. Her office is on the left."

Killian picks up the strange quill and signs his name on the page that the man gives him. He places it down, smiles at the man again, and then follows his directions up the stairs to Regina's quarters.

He doesn't knock on the door, just enters. Seated behind a stone desk, Regina widens her eyes in recognition when he walks in. She swallows, and seems to get a hold of herself and becomes the Evil Queen he knows her as. She smiles at him and says, "And you are?"

"You know who I am," Killian says sharply.

Regina stands up from her desk and walks towards the roaring fire. For a moment, she tends it. Killian approaches, watches, _waits_.

"I admit, I didn't expect you to still be alive," Regina says as she finally turns to face him. "When I woke up in this world, I knew I'd won despite Snow and Charming's precious child's attempts to kill me."

At the mention of Emma, Killian stiffens.

"_Emma_," he snaps. "Her name is Emma."

Regina raises both eyebrows and chuckles. "You really love her, don't you? What happened to Milah, Captain Jones? Did the little blonde make you forget about her so quickly?"

"I've taken from the crocodile the same thing he took from Milah: his _life._" Killian pictures Rumplestiltskin's body again - he'd looked so _human_.

Regina continues to smile. "Ah, I see. So, you're free to move on then, to better and brighter horizons. How... sweet."

Killian ignores the bite in her words. He loved Milah, maybe in a different way than he loved Emma, but he loved Milah, and nothing Regina can say will make that any less true.

Tired of their conversation, he gets right to the point. "Where is Emma?" he demands.

"Where _is_ Emma? Don't tell me you've lost another one," Regina laughs.

"You took her away from me!"

Regina's face twists in a nasty smile. "And with any luck, she is dead and gone for good."

Fury clouds his vision. Snarling, he pulls the hot poker from the fire. Regina throws up her hands - in surrender, in protection; he doesn't know nor does he care - as Killian stabs the poker through her chest.

He doesn't feel satisfaction as Regina falls to the floor, clutching her chest as blood blooms, dark red petals on her blouse. The emptiness hasn't been filled like he thought it would be, it has only opened wider like a chasm in his very soul.

He drops the poker to the floor and leaves Regina's corpse lying there in a pool of her own blood.

The man at the desk doesn't stop him as he leaves. Killian walks down the streets, back the way he came, back to his ship. People pass him on the street, some even try to speak to him, but he hears nothing, sees nothing but gray shapes moving in and out of his vision.

He arrives back at his ship. He takes one moment to look out along the sea. He sees nothing but vast blue emptiness before him and his ship floating alone in the port.

_Alone_. The word has new meaning for him now. He'd thought he'd been alone before, when he'd chosen the curse of immortality in order to get his revenge on Rumplestiltskin. But then he'd met Emma, and he'd realized that he didn't need to be alone any longer. Regina had taken all that away - she'd destroyed his hope and happiness. And now he didn't even have the thought of revenge to keep him company.

Killian thought he knew what it was like to be alone. He had never been more mistaken.

He heads back to his cabin, switches out the lights inside, and climbs into the bed. He stares into the darkness, and for a long time he stays like that, but finally, he falls asleep.

In his dreams, he drowns.

* * *

Killian awakes in utter darkness.

This time he knows where the light switch is so he turns it on quickly. The emptiness he felt the day before is still there, gnawing at him like a hunger he can't sate. Speaking of hunger...he hasn't eaten since that ship ride with Emma.

_Emma._

Now that hurts. Thinking of her is like stabbing a knife into his beating heart. It is sharp, the wound still too fresh for him to feel anything but pain when he thinks of the way the sunlight glinted in her hair, the way she smiled at him sometimes like she couldn't understand why she put up with him at all.

She'd loved him, and he'd loved her, and now she was gone.

He storms to the galley in a search for food, but finds it empty. Deciding to brave this world again so that he can find something to ease his hunger, he climbs back above deck.

The first sign that something is wrong is that the same seagull is perched on the port side railings of his ship. The seagull stares at him for a long moment before taking off. It caws, the exact same sound as the day before.

_Magic_.

Killian has seen enough of it to know it when he sees it. He breaks into a run, following the same path he did the day before and stops just in time to see Rumplestiltskin enter his shop again.

This time Killian doesn't bother with pleasantries.

"What have you done, Crocodile? What kind of foul magic is this?" Killian shouts when he enters the shop.

"What -" Rumplestiltskin says. His words are choked off by Killian grabbing him around his collar with both hands and lifting him up off the ground. If he hadn't killed Rumplestiltskin so easily the day before, Killian would've been surprised by how light, how fragile Rumplestiltskin seems in this human form.

"Tell me what you've done!" Killian spits.

"Put me down, you little, impertinent -"

He doesn't finish his sentence because Killian heeds his request and throws him across the store. Rumplestiltskin slams into the glass display case and it shatters around him. Impaled on a particularly large slice of glass, the crocodile again gurgles out his last breath. Killian won't be getting answers from him, so he goes to find the queen.

This day he won't kill her.

This day he'll ask questions instead.

He reaches the queen's office quickly and heads past the man at the desk this time; the man's cry of "You didn't sign the sign-in sheet!" falls on deaf ears as Killian climbs the stairs two at a time.

When he enters, she sits in the same spot she sat the day before.

"You're alive too," he says, unsurprised.

Regina stands up from behind her desk, walking towards the fire.

"Surprising isn't it, after Snow and Charming's little princess tried to take me out? But it looks like I'm the one that won," Regina says as she tends the fire. She jumps when she turns around and Killian is standing right behind her. While she had talked, he'd stalked towards her.

"Why do I remember everything? Why am I not like the people in this town? It makes sense that the curse wouldn't affect you in that way, you cast it, but why _me_ as well?"

Regina shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe it was Emma's magic, a lover's dying gift." She says the last part with a wicked grin that makes Killian's vision darken.

The poker is in her stomach before he realizes what he is doing.

He drops the poker to the floor and runs both hands down his face. For a long time, he stands there with his head in his hands as he waits for his heart to stop trying to beat its way out of his chest.

_Emma is gone_.

And she isn't coming back.

* * *

Killian awakes in utter darkness.

He bypasses Rumplestiltskin on the street. The human who wears his face isn't going to be able to tell Killian anything, and killing him has lost its flavor. If he won't actually stay dead, what is the point in killing him again?

No, he needs answers, and he needs them now.

"The days keep resetting themselves," he says when he enters Regina's office.

Regina blinks up at him. After a long moment, she asks, "Do they?"

"Every day, I kill you and the crocodile, and every day, I wake up and you're alive once again. Tell me, Regina, is this a failsafe built into your curse or is it just a _fortunate_ side effect?"

Regina stares at him with wide eyes. She throws her hands up. Killian laughs as she realizes that she can use no magic against him. He has her trapped. If he wanted to, he could kill her again.

But he knows it won't last. That is one thing at least that he has figured out on his own. He is trapped in a cycle, time resetting itself every day so that it is as if Rumplestiltskin's and Regina's death never happened except in a fantasy. Yes, he still wants Regina dead, but it won't bring back Emma, and it won't get any of his questions answered.

Regina still looks at him in fear, but when she realizes he isn't moving, she straightens and replaces her wide eyes with a mask of calm indifference. "It seems that my magic doesn't work in this world. I keep forgetting that."

"I asked you a question," Killian states.

Regina gives him a thin smile. "I suppose it's a failsafe of the curse. They're supposed to suffer, trapped in this world where they have no memories of their past lives, or so I've gathered. They can't suffer if they're dead."

"Hmm," Killian says.

This time, he grabs the poker deliberately. Swinging it in a wide arc that knocks Regina off her feet, he hits her until he is sure she is dead. He doesn't want her remembering this conversation, and in this way, she never will.

* * *

Killian awakes in utter darkness.

He goes back to sleep.

Killian dreams of Emma's laughter. He dreams of the way her lips fit against his when they'd kissed.

He dreams of a light. He reaches for it with outstretched hands, but it is snuffed out before he can grasp it.

* * *

Killian awakes in utter darkness.

At this point, he has memorized the layout of his new cabin, so he doesn't turn on the light. The first day, the first of these many repeating days, he'd gone in his desk drawer looking for a weapon of any kind. What he'd found instead were some papers, logs, and to his surprise, a bottle labeled "Bacardi Gold" that he'd recognized instantly as alcohol. It has been a while since he last drank until he was three sheets to the wind, but the rum goes down easily enough as he drinks straight from the bottle. He doesn't stop until his vision starts to swim and the warmth of the rum makes his chest burn. He places down the mostly empty bottle and stumbles to his bed.

This time when he sleeps, he doesn't dream.

* * *

The days go by, one after another, different yet exactly the same. He counts down every single one, marking them down in his mind so he doesn't forget. He used to count the days after he lost Milah; he supposes that it is only fitting to do the same for Emma.

He quickly figures out that the stack of green bills in a wallet on his desk is meant for trade and it takes an even shorter time for him to find food. He ends up at a diner, a place that serves all kinds of meals, and he picks up his meals for the day there, never bothering to stay. The barmaid with the red streaks and revealing outfits gives him strange looks but she no longer tries to engage him in conversation. At least with time passing now, people have learned that he'd rather be alone.

He sees Snow White once and considers trying to convince her of the truth, but one short-lived conversation later, he gives up on that idea.

He starts considering leaving the town and has fantasies of taking his ship and riding off into the horizon. He dashes those notions quickly, though. Whatever curse this town is under that keeps the others from leaving will probably keep him from leaving as well.

He remembers one of his and Emma's first conversations where she told him that there is more to life than revenge. The memory of her words makes him huff a bitter laugh. Yes, there is more to life than revenge. There is boredom and there is misery as well.

He passes the library one day, peeks inside to see the rows and stacks of books.

When Killian passes the library the next day, this time he steps inside.

He leaves hours later, having read books on a variety of topics. Learning how to fit into this world is all he has left. If there is one thing Killian is good at, it is surviving.

He goes back every day. No one else bothers to come in, and Killian likes it that way. He can read without the fear of being watched.

Or so he thought. Like all his hopes, that belief is quickly squashed.

It is about two weeks into his waking nightmare that another person enters the library. Killian looks up from the book he is reading to study the man that strolls through the rows of books. He looks strange, stranger than the other people in the town. He looks lost, but Killian doesn't believe for a second that he is.

"You're _using_ the library," the man says when he finally approaches Killian.

"Yeah, but that's what it's for, isn't it?" Killian says. He says the words without humour.

"You're not acting according to the plan. You're a piece moving outside the board," the man says quietly. He looks away, staring off into the distance.

"I'm not following you," Killian says, following the man all too well. He isn't the only one awake.

Wild eyes meet his when the man glances back at Killian. From inside his jacket pocket, the man whips out a gun, which Killian only recognizes from some of the books he has read, and he turns the barrel on Killian.

"Who are you?" the man demands.

"That isn't going to work," Killian says with not a hint of fear. "Already tried it. You'll just reset the days again, and nobody wants that. Put the gun down."

The man cocks his head at him. "Reset the days?"

"Start us from day one where we woke up and realized our whole lives have gone to hell. Only you'll be the only one to remember that the reset happened."

The man closes his eyes and rolls his shoulders. Finally, he places the gun back inside his jacket pocket and says, "You killed someone?"

Baring his teeth, Killian replies, "Multiple times." He lets the ice come through in his words, the threat that he wouldn't be completely adverse to doing it again despite the reset. The man recognizes that. _Smart man_.

"Killian Jones," Killian says after a beat and stretches out a hand for the man to take. In this world, they forgo the bow in favour of the handshake. Killian likes that; it allows him to look the man in his eyes as he takes Killian's hand. The man's grip is tight, forceful. Killian doesn't hold back and neither does he.

"Jefferson," the man introduces himself. "Why do you remember? Why aren't you as lost as everyone else?"

"I was protected," Killian says succinctly. He is unwilling to tell Jefferson more than that. He doesn't know the man, nor does he trust him. "What about you? How did you escape their fate?"

"I don't know," Jefferson says. "I really don't."

"All, I know is this: the princess, Emma, she will be the one to break the curse," Jefferson finishes.

"Sorry to break it to you, but _she_ is dead."

Jefferson takes a step back. Eyes wide, he says, "That can't be true." Straightening, he says, "You were with her? You saw her die?"

Killian frowns. "The last time I saw her, right before the curse took me here, she was perfectly fine but -"

"Then she isn't dead," Jefferson states with a roll of his eyes, like it should be obvious to Killian.

"If she isn't dead, then where is she?" _Why can't I feel her?_

"It doesn't matter where she is now, all that matters is that when she turns 28, she will come back and break the curse."

Frustrated, Killian stands up abruptly from his chair. Jefferson holds his ground.

"And how do you know this?" Killian snaps.

"I don't," Jefferson retorts sharply, meeting Killian's furious gaze with one of his own. "But I have to have hope. I can't - I _won't_ believe that she won't come back to save us."

"Stay away from me," Killian says after a moment. The words come out softer than intended. There is a heavy weight on his chest that presses down hard enough to suffocate.

Jefferson gives him a curious look. Killian looks away.

Finally, Jefferson says, "Happy to oblige."

Killian hears him walk away and when he is alone in the library once again, he slumps back down in his chair.

He gets no more reading done that day.

* * *

Jefferson's hope finishes the job that not being able to avenge Emma's and Milah's deaths started. If Emma is still alive and he just can't feel her, then it must mean that she no longer loves him. The severing of their bond, it only makes sense if one of them is either dead or fallen out of love.

Killian doesn't know which is worse.

He paces his cabin, and an idea slowly forms in his mind. He stretches his face in a mockery of a grin, and then goes to find Regina. He finds her in her office, just as she always is at this time. He has memorized her schedule, and although she is the only one likely to change direction at a moment's notice, so far she has stuck to it. He has run into her once or twice, but since he started reading, he'd affected the persona of the Storybrooke "pirate" captain, a normal 32 year old man with money who'd bought a shipping vessel on a whim. She didn't know that he remembered, and before Jefferson had revealed the details of the curse, he had planned to keep it that way. Now, he needs her to know.

"Killian Jones, how may I help you?" Regina asks when he gains access to her office.

Killian smiles as realization slowly dawns on Regina. She doesn't try to throw up any magic this time, but she does finger the metal box on her desk.

"I'm here to discuss a deal," he says. "I know you're no crocodile, but I'm sure this is something that should interest you."

Regina scoffs. "I have no interest in deals. Don't you realize? I've _won_. If I wanted to, I could send you to a prison to suffer until the end of time itself."

"You _could _do that, but it still wouldn't mean that you've won," Killian states.

Regina snarls. Abruptly, she stands up from her seat and slams her hands down on the table. "What do you mean?"

"Emma is still alive. And in 9 years, she will break your curse."

"How do you know this?" she demands.

"Regina - excuse me - _Queen_ Regina, this shouldn't be news to you, you're the one that cast the curse after all, and you didn't manage to kill Emma, so of course, she must be somewhere, living her life until the time comes that she can break the curse."

The words pang him, but he keeps his face a mask of good humour. Seeing Regina seethe makes it easier to perfect that image.

A silence stretches between them. Killian's eyes never leave Regina. She is the first one to look away. Finally, she says, "This deal, then, I'm sure it is supposed to benefit both of us."

"It will," Killian says.

"So?" Regina says when he doesn't continue. "What about Emma?"

"Her? Oh, she was merely a passing fancy, a misstep in my path to revenge."

"You would've given up your life for her. That is no mere '_passing fancy_,'" Regina says, unconvinced.

Killian thinks of all his hatred for her, all his hatred for Rumplestiltskin and fits a smile on his face to reflect that. "You would've too if you'd bedded her. She was a real - how do they say it in this world - _firecracker_ in the bedroom. To have so sweet a lass die would've been a great pity."

Regina laughs. "You are positively vile."

"Pirate," Killian says with a shrug of his shoulders.

Regina shakes her head and shakes with silent laughter. "So you made sure that my curse would fail because of a particularly good bedding. How... _quaint_."

"The curse needs to be broken. Without it in the way, I can't get my revenge on Rumplestiltskin."

"And that is my problem, how?"

"Surely, you've noticed that nothing changes here. Nothing at all. You're as much a prisoner here as I am, and the only thing that can save you from that is having Emma break the curse."

Regina doesn't say anything. She stares at him as if she is trying to read him, and after a beat, she says, "So, the curse breaks and I get some semblance of a life back. I'll just be back to where I was before with no hope of revenge on the people that made me cast the curse in the first place."

"But that's where I come in. I will enact your revenge for you," Killian says.

"_How_?"

Killian smirks. "I will destroy what is most precious to them."

"I see now - Emma - but _how_? Killing her?" Regina asks.

"Killing someone is easy and quick. Breaking them is an art. As before, I will capture the princess' heart, and this time, when I grasp it in my hands, I will crush it to dust." Killian says with every ounce of hatred in his heart.

Regina grins. "Oh, you_ are_ wicked."

Killian shrugs, nonchalant. "All in a day's work, I say."

Outside, he smirks. Inside, he burns.

Emma's words echo in his ears. Revenge - _"there is more to life than that."_

Heart aching in his chest, he'd woken up with her smiling at him, a happy grin so bright it shone brighter than the stars. And then she was gone like a ghost in the wind.

Killian closes his eyes as the inferno blazes within. He will have his revenge if it is the last thing he does.

* * *

**Chapter Notes: **Unlike in the show, Jefferson is able to leave the house that he is stuck in and traverse Storybrooke


	4. Let Me Go - Part 2

**Title: **Let Me Go

**Summary: **Sequel to DFT, UTM. Killian wakes up in a nightmare where Emma is gone and the Evil Queen's curse has been enacted, bringing him to a strange new world. Desperate for revenge against both Regina and Rumplestiltskin, he goes out to finish the two of them only to find that time resets itself every day and he is trapped in an endless cycle. Unable to avenge either of his loves, his heart grows colder with each day stuck in this cruel world. Fast forward to where a 28 year old Emma Swan makes a birthday wish and finds Henry Mills on her doorstep. He brings her to a town called Storybrooke where every fairytale character she has ever known is trapped between two worlds...or so Henry says. She meets the wickedly handsome Killian Jones who gives her déjà vu like nobody's business and makes her feel things that she has never felt before. She can't seem to stay away, enchanted by his blue eyes, so familiar, but she refuses to open her heart to him because she has been burned before and she won't be burned again.

**Notes: **AU season 1 with some background from season 2 thrown in. The curse is very flexible in this fic; it adapts to new parameters. It prevents people from being killed in the town before Emma comes back, everything must go unchanged until her arrival; no one ages, no one dies; if someone does, the town is reset. Time is their prison, after all.

**Notes 2: **About aging, so everyone is are the ages they would've been right at the end of DFT, UTM, meaning Mary Margaret is older than Emma, etc. However, they haven't aged since then because curse, so they're only ten years older than her now as Emma was 19 at the end of DFT, UTM.

**Warnings: **dark! Killian, graphic depictions of violence

* * *

Emma's first clear memory is of stealing a car. It isn't that she doesn't remember anything before that, but the memories are hazy, ghosts in the corners of her eyes that give her a headache if she tries to stare too closely. She doesn't do that often; most of her memories are too painful to linger on. That includes her memory of the car theft, but she can't help but think of it now when the bail jumper, Ryan, spits at her, "What the hell do you know about family?"

She slams his head against the wheel of the car. It feels good to let the anger and hurt take her over for a moment. It is her birthday after all, as good a time as any to release some of the rage that she keeps pent up inside.

"Nothing," she answers.

* * *

Emma's purest memory is of the day her son was born.

As she blows out the candle on her birthday cupcake, she thinks of how for a moment, when she'd held the sleeping baby warm and safe in her arms, she'd had a family she could call her own, and she makes a wish.

There is a knock at her door.

She goes to open the door. She looks out and sees nothing, but then she looks down and her eyes widen when she sees a little boy smiling up at her.

Coincidence. Pure coincidence.

"Um, can I help you?"

"Are you Emma Swan?" he asks.

"Yeah, who are you?" Emma asks.

"My name's Henry. I'm your son."

Stunned, Emma stands there as he brushes past her into the apartment.

"I don't have a kid," Emma says, more to say something than to argue with his assertion.

"Nine years ago, did you give up a baby for adoption? That was me."

Emma stares at him; the reality of the situation hits her like a sock to her jaw. _Her son. _Her son is standing before her.

"Give me a minute," she says and disappears into the bathroom.

With the door closed securely behind her, she allows herself to fall apart. When she'd made that birthday wish, she hadn't expected for it to actually come true. Yet here _Henry_ is with a smile so like his father's, pushing his way into her life just like his father had, and Emma has no idea what to do with that.

_Be careful what you wish for._

Emma laughs a hysterical giggle that she tamps down on quickly. No, she isn't going to freak out. She is going to handle this like an adult, and when he is gone, back to his happy life, that is when she'll take a moment to digest this. For now however, she'll go back out there and pretend like her heart isn't beating rapid punches into her ribcage.

"Do you have any juice? Never mind, found some." Henry's voice echoes through the closed door.

Emma exits the bathroom and faces Henry with a determined look. He sits at her counter, drinking orange juice straight from the bottle. When he puts the bottle down and wipes his mouth on his sleeve, he smiles up at her and says, "You know we should probably get going."

"Going where?" Emma asks.

She doesn't mean to sound so suspicious, but he doesn't seem to notice, the smile widening on his face as he says, "I want you to come home with me."

Emma takes a deep breath and says, "Okay, kid, I'm calling the cops."

To give weight to her threat, she walks towards the phone, but just as she picks it up, he says, "Then I'll tell them you kidnapped me."

Emma blinks slowly and turns the phone off. "And they'll believe you because I'm your birth mother."

"Yep," he says with a self-satisfied smirk that brings back memories Emma wishes would just disappear.

Emma studies him. A small smile creeps across her face. He almost had her for a moment."You're not going to do that."

"Try me."

"You're pretty good, but here's the thing, kid, there's not a lot of things I'm great at in life, but I have one skill. Let's call it a superpower. I can tell when anyone is lying, and you, kid, are."

She turns the phone back on and starts to dial. It isn't 911 that she calls or her direct officer hotline. She just starts pressing numbers, waiting for Henry to spill why he came to her in the first place. She doesn't have to wait long.

"Wait! Please don't call the cops," he begs. "Please, come home with me."

"Where's home?"

"Storybrooke, Maine."

"Storybrooke. Seriously?" she says in disbelief. When he just nods in affirmation, she sighs and says, "Alright then. Let's get you back to Storybrooke."

When he is safely buckled in the passenger seat of her yellow beetle and they are headed on their way out of the city, she glances at him to catch him staring at her. He looks away quickly, and so does she, a frown that she can't quite get rid of etched across her face.

"I'm hungry," he says, breaking the silence that has come over them since they left her apartment. "Wanna stop for snacks?"

"This is not a road trip. We're not stopping for snacks."

"Why not?" Henry asks.

The ghost of a memory flickers through her mind. She frowns even deeper as she resolutely thinks of anything but that memory.

"Quit complaining, kid. Remember I could've put your butt on a bus. I still could," Emma snaps.

Henry snaps right back at her, says, "You know I have a name. It's Henry."

Emma glances over to him, the regret at her tone of voice making her want to say something to lighten the conversation. In his hands is a book of fairytales. Curious, Emma asks, "What's that?"

"I'm not sure you're ready," Henry says.

Bemused, Emma says, "Ready for some fairytales?"

"They're not fairytales, they're true. Every story in this book actually happened," Henry says.

"Of course it did," Emma mutters.

Henry hears her. "Use your superpower. See if I'm lying," he says with such assurance that it kind of throws Emma for a moment.

Then she remembers, he is just a kid. Of course he believes in fairytales.

"Just because you believe something doesn't make it true," Emma says.

"That's exactly what makes it true. You should know more than anyone," Henry says.

"Why's that?" Emma scoffs. She hasn't believed in fairytales since she was a little girl who couldn't understand why her parents didn't want her anymore.

"Because you're in this book."

_Jesus._

"Oh, kid, you've got problems," she says, shaking her head.

"Yep, and you're going to fix them," Henry hums.

_What in the hell have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

Their drive to Storybrooke is made in mostly silence. Henry passes the time by reading, and Emma focuses all her attention on the road and anything but the way he looks so entranced by the stories in his storybook.

Emma drives into the sleepy town of Storybrooke. She cruises down the main street, glancing at the empty stores as she passes. It is a veritable "small town."

"So, kid, how about an address?"

"24th Not Telling You Street," Henry says cheekily.

Emma snaps. She stops the car in the middle of road, tires screeching at her abrupt halt. She climbs out of the car and slams the door behind her. Henry follows, closing the door much more gently than Emma had.

"Look it's been a long night and it's almost -" She glances from Henry to the town clock. _What the hell?_ "8:15?"

"That clock hasn't moved my whole life," Henry explains. "Time's frozen here."

"Excuse me?"

"The Evil Queen did it with her curse. She sent everyone from the Enchanted Forest here."

"Hang on, the Evil Queen sent a bunch of fairytale characters here?"

"Yeah, and now they're trapped."

"Frozen in time and stuck in Storybrooke, Maine. That's what you're going with?" Emma huffs a laugh.

"It's true!" he exclaims.

"Then why doesn't everybody just leave?"

"They can't. If they try, bad things happen."

"Henry!" someone calls, and Emma looks up as a man approaches them from a cop car.

He is only looking at Henry, but then he sees Emma. Blue eyes - _the sea, rough waves she can get lost in - _meet hers, and he looks at her like he has seen a ghost. She doesn't smile at him.

"Haven't seen you around before, lass, Killian Jones," he says, a hint of an accent in his lilt.

He stretches out his hand to take hers. Emma is a little put off by the way he is looking at her, but she takes his hand anyway. His hand is warm, softer than she thought it would be. His tight v-neck leaves very little to the imagination; this is a man who works with his body. She'd expected for his hands to reflect that, to be calloused from the work, but instead they just make her feel...

She shakes her head, realizes that she has been holding his hand for far too long. She releases it abruptly. An expression flits across his face fast enough that Emma doesn't have time to identify it, and then he smiles at her. His smile reminds Emma of a viper's deadly bite.

_Will you be deadly to me, Killian Jones?_

She doesn't know where the thought comes from. She brushes it aside quickly and stuffs her hands in her pockets, discomfort suddenly making her hands shake.

"Who are you?" Killian asks. He raises an eyebrow, glancing between Henry and Emma.

"Just someone trying to get him home," Emma says.

"She's my mom," Henry says.

Shock colours Killian's features for a moment and then he schools his expression back into the smile he wore before.

"Do you know the way to his house?" she asks, even more wary of him than she was before. There is just something about the way he looks at her, something that puts her on edge like nothing ever has. She feels stripped to the bone by his weighted gaze.

"The Mayor's house; I'll show you the way," Jones offers, the smile - so like a snake in the grass - still in place.

"You're the mayor's kid?" Emma demands. She turns to Henry to see him looking down at the ground.

He doesn't meet her eyes as he replies, "Maybe."

Emma shakes her head and turns back to Killian. "Just give me the address. I can find my own way, thanks."

A hand tugs on the bottom of her shirt and she looks down to see Henry grinning at her this time. "Don't worry, Emma. Killian's alright. He can show you the way."

"And as the deputy sheriff, it's kind of my duty to make sure Henry gets back home to his mother safely," Killian adds.

Emma feels a twinge in her chest. She writes it off as just more discomfort with the whole situation and him, and says, "Alright then. We'll follow behind your car."

Henry and Emma climb back into the yellow beetle. When Killian finally pulls away from the curb and allows Emma to follow him, Emma turns to Henry and asks, "So if they're all fairytale characters, who's he supposed to be?"

Henry frowns and crosses his arms over his chest. "I don't know. I don't think everyone's story is in this book."

"Convenient," Emma drawls.

"Not very," Henry disagrees with a shake of his head. "It just makes it harder to figure out who is who."

"So, have you _confirmed_ anyone so far?" Emma asks.

"My -" Henry pauses. _Preparing for a lie._ "My doctor is Jiminy Cricket."

The kid has a shrink.

"And who are you? Pinocchio?"

"I'm not Pinocchio," Henry scoffs.

"Of course you're not," Emma says with a roll of her eyes. "That would be ridiculous."

For a while they're silent, but when Killian pulls up in front of a large white house and Emma follows, parking her car as well, Henry turns to her and begs, "Please don't take me back there."

Emma gives him a wide eyed look and huffs. "I'm sure your parents are worried sick about you."

"I don't have parents," Henry says. "Just a mom and she's evil."

"Evil? That's a bit extreme isn't it?"

Henry looks down at his hands. "She is. She doesn't love me. She only pretends to."

_Damn._ This kid really does have problems. For a moment, Emma doesn't know what to say. "Kid...I'm sure that's not true."

A knock at Emma's window pulls them from their conversation. Killian stands there, looking down at them. Emma rolls down the window.

"Are you coming in?" he asks.

"Yeah," Emma says and turns towards Henry. With a look, she urges him out of the car. Sighing he unbuckles his seatbelt and leaves the car.

Killian fixes Henry with a look and says, "Come on, your mother is waiting."

_Right_.

When they reach the front door, it swings open. A dark-haired woman in a neat dress runs out, crying, "Henry!"

She envelopes Henry in a hug. "Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened?"

"I found my real mom," Henry says angrily. He pulls from her embrace and runs into the house.

"You're Henry's birth mother?" the woman asks, looking at Emma for the first time.

_Way to leave a mess, kid_. Awkwardly, she tries for a smile as she says, "Hi."

"We'll just go check on the lad. Make sure he's alright," a man says. Emma finally notices his presence. Decked out in a sheriff's uniform, he is handsome, just like Killian, and he doesn't give her that strange feeling... Emma wishes he would stay and save her from this conversation, but both he and Killian disappear inside and up the stairs.

The woman studies Emma as Emma tries not to react to the way she looks at her with angry judgment - _if looks could kill..._In her red leather jacket and jeans, Emma knows she looks nowhere as nice or respectable as her. A mayor. Henry had been adopted by a mayor.

The mayor swallows and says, "How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?"

"Got anything stronger?" Emma asks. She'll need it for the conversation that is sure to follow.

The mayor smiles and leads Emma inside. She disappears into a side room, leaving Emma in the hallway to study the big, beautiful house that Henry lives in. When she comes back, Emma follows her into the next room and asks, "How did he find me?"

"No idea. When I adopted him he was 3 weeks old. Records were sealed. I was told the birth mother didn't want to have any contact."

"You were told right," Emma says. She feels exhausted by the conversation already.

"And the father?"

Emma winces, refuses to think about it.

"There was one."

"Do I need to be worried about him?"

"No. He doesn't even know."

Regina turns around, carrying two filled glasses of alcohol. "Do I need to be worried about you, Miss ah?" Regina asks as she hands Emma a glass.

Emma blinks at her rapidly, confused for a moment by the venom in Regina's voice. "Miss Emma Swan, and absolutely not."

Emma takes a sip of her glass as footsteps sound on the stairs. "Mother Mayor," the other sheriff says as he descends the stairs, followed by Killian. "You can relax. Other than being a tired little boy, Henry is fine."

"Thank you, Sheriff. Deputy," she nods at both of them as they leave the house though her eyes linger on Killian far longer than the other sheriff.

When the door clicks shut behind them, she turns back to Emma. "I'm sorry he dragged you out of your life. I don't know what's gotten into him."

Emma follows her into a living room that looks like it came straight out of a catalogue. She sits down on the couch that looks more decorative than usable, takes a large sip of her glass, and says, "Kid's having a rough time. It happens."

"You have to understand, ever since I became mayor, balancing things has been tricky. You have a job I presume?"

To tell the mayor that she is a bounty hunter or not. "I keep busy, yeah," Emma replies, opting for the middle ground.

"Imagine having another job on top of that. That's being a single mom. So I push for order. Am I strict? I suppose, but I do it for his own good. I want Henry to excel in life. I don't think that makes me evil, do you?" Regina asks as she moves across the room and takes a seat on the chair across from Emma. Emma has always been good at reading faces, and there is something in her gaze that is almost daring Emma to say the wrong thing.

Trying to be diplomatic, Emma says, "I'm sure he is just saying that because of the fairytale thing."

"What fairytale thing?" The mayor looks confused and a little bit...scared?

"You know his book, how he thinks everyone's a cartoon character from it. Like his shrink is Jiminy Cricket."

"I'm sorry. I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know what?" Emma stands, placing her glass down on the table. "It's none of my business. He's your kid and I really should be heading back."

"Of course."

She exits the house and the mayor shuts the door behind her. Something tells her to look up at the window, and she does just to meet Henry's forlorn expression as he stares at her. Emma looks away and walks to her car.

She pulls away from the curb and starts to drive back the way she came, all the while, images of Henry flash in her mind. She may be homeward bound but she isn't home free yet. She can't think about that, not now, not when she needs to focus.

She looks down to the side to see the fairytale book seated on the chair Henry occupied.

"Sneaky bastard," Emma says, shaking her head.

She looks up and suddenly there is a wolf standing in the middle of the road. Emma swerves to avoid it, crashes, and she sees nothing but darkness.

* * *

Emma wakes up to someone whistling, and her day gets steadily worse.

From waking up in the jail cell, to facing the mayor Regina Mills and her cold fury at Henry's second disappearance, to meeting his teacher, and to finding him at his "castle", Emma is exhausted by the time she tells Henry that "You know what sucking is? Being left abandoned on the side of a freeway, my parents didn't even bother to drop me off at a hospital. I ended up in the foster system and I had a family until I was three, but then they had their own kid so they sent me back."

She is crying when she leans down and says, "Look, your mom is trying her best. I know it's hard and I know sometimes you think she doesn't love you, but at least she wants you."

"Your parents didn't leave you at the side of a freeway. They raised you until you were 19!" Henry argues, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"What?"

"They loved you so much, and then you got turned into a wolf and they didn't realize so they chased you off, thinking that the wolf had gotten you. The curse hit before they had time to find you again."

"Henry, that doesn't make any sense," Emma says, shaking her head.

"But it's true!" he stresses.

"Alright then," Emma concedes. "Come on, Henry."

He takes her hand and allows her take him home. When they reach his house, he runs past Regina without saying hello.

Regina purses her lips. "Thank you," she says. There is still an edge to her voice, even with Henry now home safe.

"No problem."

"He seemed to have taken quite a shine to you," Regina says.

Emma laughs. "You know what's kind of crazy? Yesterday was my birthday and when I blew out the candle on this cupcake I bought myself, I actually made a wish." Regina's near smile starts to fade from her face as Emma finishes, "That I didn't have to be alone on my birthday."

"And then Henry showed up -"

Regina cuts in. "I hope there's no misunderstanding here."

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't mistake all this as invitation back into his life." Regina looks at Emma with an expression that reads loud and clear. How dare Emma think that anything has changed?

How dare Emma not think that when _everything_ has changed?

"Ah-"

"Miss Swan, you made a decision ten years ago and in the last decade when you've been - well, who knows what you've been doing, I've changed every diaper, soothed every fever, endured every tantrum. You may have given birth to him but he is my son!"

"I was just -"

"No! You don't get to speak! You don't get to do anything. You gave up that right when you tossed him away. Do you know what a closed adoption is? It's what you asked for. You have no legal right to Henry, and you're going to be held to that. So, I suggest you get in your car and you leave this town, because if you don't, I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do."

Regina menaces over Emma, staring her down with coldness in her gaze that makes Emma think of Henry having to face that very same coldness. Inside, she shivers. Outside, Emma meets Regina's gaze without blinking. After so many different homes with so many awful parents who treated her just like Regina is treating her now, a mere nuisance to be sent away, Emma has trained herself to hide her emotions well. This skill has gotten her this far, and it'll get her through this as well.

"Goodbye, Miss Swan."

"Do you love him?"

The words are out before Emma can think better of them. As Regina turns around, though, Emma knows that it is a question she would've asked her anyway.

"Excuse me?"

"Henry," Emma clarifies. "Do you love him?"

"Of course I love him."

For the first time in her life, Emma feels unsure of her ability; she doesn't know if Regina is actually telling the truth.

Emma stares after her as she disappears into the house, shutting the door behind her.

The sun goes down. Emma sits in her car, contemplating her next move, before she makes her way to the bed and breakfast that she passed earlier.

On the stairs leading up to Granny's B&B are broken pots that look like they haven't been touched in ages. Emma can hear arguing from outside that only gets louder when she opens the door, scraps of conversation of a woman saying she "should've gone to Boston," and a snappy retort of "I'm sorry that my heart attack interrupted your plans to sleep your way down the Eastern seaboard."

The two combatants appear then, a young brunette with red streaks in her hair wearing a very skimpy outfit, and a woman that epitomizes the name "Granny."

"Excuse me," Emma says before they walk away. "I'd like a room."

"Really?" Granny asks, eyes widening. The young woman comes back, eyes as wide as Granny's. She studies Emma critically. Emma turns away as Granny continues to speak.

"Would you like a forest view or a square view? Normally, there's an upgrade fee for the square but as rent is due, I'll waive it."

"Square is fine," Emma says with a smile.

Granny cracks open a dusty book, placing it on the equally as dusty check-in table. "Now, what's the name?"

"Swan. Emma Swan," she replies.

"Emma. What a lovely name," a voice sounds behind her.

"Thanks," Emma says, turning to see an older man, clutching a cane. He smiles at her, a cat-like grin.

Granny thrusts a wad of cash past Emma's face. "It's all here."

"Yes, yes, of course," the man says, accepting the cash. His eyes never leave Emma's face.

"You enjoy your stay, Emma," he says, and then exits the B&B. Emma stares after him, confused by the odd exchange.

"Who's that?" she asks when he is gone.

"Mr. Gold. He owns this place," the red-streaked brunette replies.

"The inn?"

"No, the town," Granny says, a serious expression on her face.

Emma stares gape-mouthed at her until Granny continues with a smile, "So, how long will you be with us?"

"A week," Emma says, remembering Henry's plea. "Just a week."

"Great." Granny hands her a key. With a cheerier smile, she says, "Welcome to Storybrooke."


	5. Let Me Go - Part 3

**Title: **Let Me Go

**Summary: **Sequel to DFT, UTM. Killian wakes up in a nightmare where Emma is gone and the Evil Queen's curse has been enacted, bringing him to a strange new world. Desperate for revenge against both Regina and Rumplestiltskin, he goes out to finish the two of them only to find that time resets itself every day and he is trapped in an endless cycle. Unable to avenge either of his loves, his heart grows colder with each day stuck in this cruel world. Fast forward to where a 28 year old Emma Swan makes a birthday wish and finds Henry Mills on her doorstep. He brings her to a town called Storybrooke where every fairytale character she has ever known is trapped between two worlds...or so Henry says. She meets the wickedly handsome Killian Jones who gives her déjà vu like nobody's business and makes her feel things that she has never felt before. She can't seem to stay away, enchanted by his blue eyes, so familiar, but she refuses to open her heart to him because she has been burned before and she won't be burned again.

**Notes: **AU season 1 with some background from season 2 thrown in. The curse is very flexible in this fic; it adapts to new parameters. It prevents people from being killed in the town before Emma comes back, everything must go unchanged until her arrival; no one ages, no one dies; if someone does, the town is reset. Time is their prison, after all.

**Notes 2: **About aging, so everyone is the age they would've been right at the end of DFT, UTM, meaning Mary Margaret is older than Emma, etc. However, they haven't aged since then because curse, so they're only ten years older than her now as Emma was 19 at the end of DFT, UTM.

**Warnings: **dark! Killian, graphic depictions of violence

* * *

**PART 3**

* * *

The clock moves.

In the 9 years since Killian has been in this town, the clock has never moved.

Everything has changed however, and he isn't surprised to see time start up again. Emma is here. Emma is _back._

Emma doesn't remember a damn thing about him.

He punches the wall of his cabin, once, twice, and so on until his knuckles bleed and he sweats with exertion. He yells out his frustration, punches the wall one final time and then heads for his desk drawer where he keeps his bottles of rum. It has been a while since he drank, and he hasn't been blackout drunk since his first few days in this time capsule.

He thinks about the way she looked at him, like she wanted him as far away from her as possible, and all he'd done was smile at her. He'd thought for a moment when their hands touched that she would remember, hoped that his touch alone would bring her back to herself.

He should've known it was a foolish notion.

And now here she is, and she has a son, _a goddamn son being raised by the Queen of all the fucking people, _that Killian only wishes he could stake claim to. He'd wanted to create a life with her, and she'd created one with someone else.

_God, it stings._

Taking large swigs off the bottle of rum, Killian drinks until he passes out.

He wakes up with heavy feet tap dancing on his skull, throbbing knuckles, and to 3 missed calls and multiple worried texts from Graham. He hasn't missed a day of work since Regina first allowed him to start working at the sheriff's station with Graham. It is understandable that the other man would be worried, but Killian is too focused on his new situation to care whether Graham worried or not.

Jefferson said she would be back. Killian hadn't believed him, not truly, because he hadn't wanted to believe him. But now Emma is here, returned to him, and Killian remembers the moment he realized that she didn't love him anymore, remembers that piercing pain and forgets about the pain in his head because his heart hurts more.

He lets the pain overcome him for a few moments, but then he shuts it off, shuts off everything but the mission.

Now that Emma is here, his plan can unfold. Time is moving again, and so should he.

His phone rings and jolts him from his thoughts. For a moment, he considers not answering, but then he looks down at the number.

"She's back," he says when he answers the call. "But you knew that already, didn't you? You see everything with that telescope of yours."

Jefferson's laugh is bright, joyful. It sounds strange coming from him for Killian has never heard him laugh like that. Dark, miserable chuckles over glasses of rum are all he has ever heard from Jefferson. Killian finds that the sound grates on him. Why should Jefferson be happy?

He clutches the phone in his wounded hand tightly and grits his teeth as he waits for Jefferson to answer.

"Are you ready?"

He knows what Jefferson is asking. Can Killian actually do this? "I have to be," Killian replies. "I won't let the Queen win."

"And, thus, your work begins. Tick tock, Jones, tick tock."

The call ends. Killian puts down the phone and looks around his room. Food first, and then he'll go find the woman calling herself Emma Swan to see if she is anything like the woman he has dreamt about for these nine desolate years.

He eats quickly, and then makes himself as presentable as possible before he goes after her. The way she looked at him...if his plan is to work, he'll need her to want him. Killian is good at making women want him, but Emma was not like the women that frequented his life before, though now, this _Swan_, who knows what it will take to get under her skin.

He'd told the Queen he would seduce Emma, and seduce her he would. He would break this curse, return Emma's memory to her, and then he would break her heart, and when the Queen thinks that she has won, thinks that absolute victory is hers at last, that is when he'll run his blade through her chest and cut her down to size.

He smirks in the mirror and the mirror smirks back, a chilling smile that Killian will have to cover up if he is to get Emma on his side.

* * *

_What am I doing?_

Emma has been asking herself that question ever since she woke up. She gave Henry up for adoption, didn't ever want him finding her, yet here she is, allowing herself to be a part of his life, if only for a week, just to make sure he is happy.

He was more right than he knew, she not only wanted to give him his best chance, she still _wants_ to, and so she is here, in Storybrooke, Maine just to make sure he is as loved as he should be.

_As loved as I should've been_.

The thought races through her mind quickly, and there is a responding whisper in her mind, murmurs she can't make out. A memory tries to break its way to the surface, but she doesn't allow it to, _cannot_ allow it to.

There is a knock at Emma's door. _Perfect timing._

She opens it in the assumption that Granny will be behind the weathered door, but finds Regina Mills standing there instead, a bright smile on her face and a basket of apples in her hands.

Confused by Regina's smile after yesterday's threat, Emma just stares at her for a moment.

"Did you know the honey crisp tree is the most vigorous and hardy of all apple trees?"

Emma cocks her head, even more confused.

"It can survive temperatures as low as 40 below and keep growing." A small laugh, barely a breath of air, escapes Regina. "It can weather any storm."

"I have one that I've tended to since I was a little girl, and to this day, I have yet to taste anything more delicious than the fruit it offers," Regina says, offering Emma an apple from the basket.

Emma takes it. "Thanks."

"I'm sure you'll enjoy them on your drive home." Regina presents the entire basket.

"Actually, I'm gonna stay awhile," Emma corrects before Regina can say any more.

Regina's smile disappears from her face. Sharply, she says, "I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Henry has enough issues; he doesn't need you confusing him."

"With all due respect, Madam Mayor, the fact that you have now threatened me twice in the last 12 hours makes me want to stay more," Emma replies. She tops off her words with her best bitch-smile.

"Since when were apples a threat?" Regina says, the fake smile back in place.

Not having any of it, Emma says, "I can read between the lines." Softer, she continues, "Sorry, I just want to make sure Henry's okay."

"He's fine, dear. Any problems he has are being taken care of."

"What does that mean?" Emma asks, not liking Regina's tone at all.

"It means I have him in therapy. It's all under control. Take my advice, Miss Swan, only one of us knows what's best for Henry."

Emma tenses. _She thinks therapy will solve all his problems?_ "Yeah, I'm starting to think you're right about that."

"It's time for you to go."

"Or what?"

Regina leans in, sneering at Emma as she says, "Don't underestimate me, Miss Swan. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

* * *

The second phone call comes as Killian is making his way to the diner. His lips curl in mockery of a smile as he picks up the phone.

"Madam Mayor, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"The plan has changed," Regina says.

Killian stops mid-stride. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I want her gone. I don't care about breaking the curse any longer; I just want her as far away from here as possible."

Thinking fast, Killian says, "This is about Henry, isn't it? Your son ...or should I say _her_ son? Where did you find the kid anyway, this can't possibly be a coincidence?"

Regina snarls over the line. "He. Is. My. Son. And Snow and Charming's little bitch is not going to take him from me."

"Don't worry. The plan doesn't need to change at all. In fact, I say that your anger now will only make your revenge sweeter in the end."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is: I'm sure you've already tried to run her out of town. What I suggest is that you keep doing that, and I'll pretend to be on her side against you. It'll make the betrayal that much harder to take when she finds out that not only have I lied to her all this time, but she will never see her son again."

Regina is quiet for a long while, and then she says, laughter in her voice. "I like the way you play this game, Jones. But remember, if you cross me, I will do far worse to you than you can even imagine."

"Reading you loud and clear," Killian says and ends the call.

With a bounce in his step, Killian continues through the docks back to town. Graham texted him that he would be at the diner to have a chat and so, Killian goes there. That he knows Emma will be there too is not a question; there is only one inn in town and Granny's diner is connected to it.

He enters the shop just in time to see Emma frowning at Graham as he says, "It's good news for our tourist business. It's bad for our local signage."

"Our local signage could do with some renovations anyway," Killian says with a smile.

Graham shifts in his seat to look at him, but Killian only has eyes for Emma as a small smile flits across her face, only to be replaced by a frown as Graham groans, "Thank you for your input, Jones. It's always nice to know that my jokes are well-received."

"Bad jokes aside," Emma says, looking at Graham. "The cocoa was a nice gesture and I'm impressed that you guessed that I like cinnamon on my chocolate because most people don't, but I am not here to flirt." She sets the cocoa down on the table. "So, thanks, but no thanks."

Graham shakes his head. "I didn't send it."

"I did," a voice announces, and Killian, Graham, and Emma turn in sync to see Henry sitting in the booth just behind Graham's. "I like cinnamon too."

Emma quirks a brow. "Don't you have school?"

"Duh, I'm ten. Walk me," Henry says as he slides out of the booth.

Emma nods at Graham and then turns her gaze to Killian. She looks like she might say something, but instead she closes her mouth, gives a small shake of her head and follows Henry out of the diner.

Killian watches her leave before turning back to Graham.

"You didn't show up this morning. I was worried," Graham says as Killian slides into the booth.

"I gathered that. The texts of 'Where are you? I'm worried' were a pretty big hint."

Graham gives him a put out look. "What happened?"

"Had a long night, got a bit carried away with the rum, and overslept," Killian says.

"And your hands?" Graham asks, looking at Killian's swollen knuckles.

Killian laughs. Smoothly, he says, "I thought it would be a good idea to have fist fight with me versus the wall. The wall won."

"I see that," Graham says, shaking with silent laughter.

Killian smiles, thinks of the real reason behind his argument with the wall last night, and his smile stiffens on his face. He has had years of practicing his mask however, during the time he waited to avenge Milah and the nine years in Storybrooke, so it is easy for him to distract Graham with another joke even as he seethes inside, the fire burning hot and bright.

* * *

Emma leaves her startling conversation with Mary Margaret to find Henry's shrink. When she exits that conversation holding Henry's personal file, in the back of her mind, she knows that she should've thought it was too kind a gesture to be true.

The knock at her door pulls her away from the file and she answers it expecting to see Regina on the other side again, but when she sees Killian Jones standing behind it, she blanches, feeling naked under his smirking gaze. He is wearing another tight t-shirt again today and Emma wishes that she could ignore the way his jeans hug his body.

"Can I help you?" Emma asks, annoyed for reasons she can't fathom.

"Not here on a personal matter, love, so you can lose the 'I'm Not Interested' glare, although if I was..." He trails off and licks his bottom lip. Emma should be disgusted; she has seen plenty of men like him before in her line of work, although she was usually the one putting them behind bars. However, the way he looks at her makes her feel...she still hasn't figured that out. Uncomfortable is the only word she can use to describe it, though she knows that doesn't quite cover it.

"Out with it," she says.

"You're an impatient one, aren't you?" he murmurs. Clearing his throat, his whole demeanor changes. He straightens, loses the swagger and the smirk, and says, "Actually, I'm here about Dr. Archibald Hopper. He said the two of you got into a bit of a tussle."

"No," Emma says and shakes her head emphatically as she places her hands on her hips.

"Really? Hmm, well, that's interesting seeing as he swears that you demanded to see Henry's personal file, and when he refused, you came back later and stole it."

"He gave it to me," Emma argues. _What the fuck - _she seethes, already knows who is behind this.

"He wove a fairly different tale. Can I search your room or should I go get a search warrant?"

Frustrated, Emma sighs and lets him in. She walks over to the bed, waves her hand out over the papers and says, "Is this what you're looking for?"

Killian looks over the papers, and says, "Sorry to have to do this to you again, lass, but I'm afraid you're under arrest for breaking and entering and theft." He pulls out a pair of handcuffs from his impossibly tight jeans and slaps them on Emma's wrists.

"You know I'm being set up, don't you?" Emma says.

Killian smiles, "That's what they all say, love."

Frustrated Emma groans as he carts her back off to the local sheriff's station.

Graham is seated at his desk when Killian brings her in. He shakes his head at her as he stands. "You've been busy today, haven't you?"

"Haha, very funny," she says as Killian leads her to be fingerprinted and photographed, a process she'd hoped she wouldn't have to go through again.

"You know the shrink is lying, right?" Emma asks when Graham takes her first picture.

"To the right please," he directs.

Killian breaks into the conversation. "Why would he lie?"

Emma stares at him out of the corner of her eye as he slumps attractively in Graham's desk chair. "The mayor put him up to this. She must have something on him. He's terrified of her like everyone else in this town."

"Wouldn't be so sure of that," Killian says as Graham directs her to the left so he can take yet another picture.

"Regina may be a touch intimidating," Graham adds while changing out the picture for a new one, "But I don't think she'd go as far as a frame job."

"How far would she go? What does she have her hands in?"

"Well, she's the mayor. She has her hands in everything," Graham replies, finished taking Emma's picture.

Emma leans in towards him. "Including the police force?"

Graham stares at her with wide eyes while Killian chuckles. He is about to say something when Henry comes running in accompanied by Mary Margaret.

"Henry, what are you doing here?" Graham asks.

Mary Margaret answers. "His mother came by the school and told him what happened."

Emma jumps to correct her. "I don't know what she told you, but -"

"It's okay. I know what you were doing," Henry says brightly.

"You _do_?"

"You were gathering intel - for Operation: Cobra."

"Operation what now?" Killian says.

"It's need to know, deputy, and all you need to know is Ms. Blanchard's going to bail her out," Henry says. He turns to Graham and nods to emphasize his point.

Surprised, confused, and just a little suspicious, Emma turns to Mary Margaret. "You are? Why?"

Mary Margaret looks surprised to be put on the spot like that but stammers out, "I, um, trust you."

Emma is taken aback. She gets a hold of herself quickly, processes this news into its most easy to understand points, and turns to Graham with her arms out. "Well, if you could uncuff me, I have something to do."

* * *

Emma has always had an anger management problem. She doesn't like to be threatened, to be told what she can and cannot do, especially when it comes to the people she wants to protect, not that she has ever met many people worth protecting. She feels a pang as she realizes that only one day in her life and Henry has already made his way his way into that category. _Shit._

She heads to Regina's with only one thing in her mind: making it absolutely clear to Regina who she is messing with. She revels in the satisfaction she feels as she walks away from Regina. She could almost whistle a jaunty tune, she feels that smug.

But when she comes back to the B&B only to be kicked out for being a "felon," Emma's good mood goes straight out the window, dragged into a ditch, and kicked until it is no more.

The phone call from Regina and the subsequent conversation that Henry overhears only makes it worse. She knows what she needs to do, and she first goes to give Mary Margaret back her bail money.

When Mary Margaret invites her in and sits her down with a cup of hot chocolate topped with cinnamon, Emma has the oddest feeling - like coming home. She laughs inwardly; Emma doesn't have a home, she never has, and certainly not with this woman who she only just met.

Except - _Snow White is your mother, apparently, and she's Snow White._

She laughs the thought away, again, except it is harder this time.

"When you bailed me out you said that you trusted me. Why?" Emma says as Mary Margaret takes a seat beside her at the quaint table in the just as quaint apartment.

Mary Margaret sighs and smiles. "It's strange but ever since you came here, I've had the oddest feeling that we've met before, and I know it's crazy."

Emma's heart beats rapidly in her chest as she says, "I'm starting to reevaluate my definition of crazy."

"For what it's worth I think you're innocent."

"Of breaking and entering or just in general?" Emma asks. Being sarcastic is something she can do, something normal that doesn't make her think that she is going mad. It calms her beating heart back down to a normal pace.

"Whichever makes you feel better." Mary Margaret grins.

Emma finds herself laughing despite the situation. "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks I did or didn't do, I'm leaving."

Mary Margaret's smile disappears as Emma continues, "Thank you for everything, but it's for the best. If I stay, Henry's going to keep getting hurt."

"What happens if you go?"

Emma stares at her. She didn't think of how that might affect Henry, not so much as what staying might mean for him.

"I think the fact that you want to leave is why you have to stay. You care about him. Who will protect Henry if you won't?" Mary Margaret says. The look she gives Emma makes it clear that this isn't just something she is saying to make Emma feel better; she truly believes that Emma staying would be better for Henry.

Emma takes a deep breath and makes her next move.

"To hell with her," Emma snaps at Dr. Hopper when he tries to warn her about the queen finding out that she is at his office with Henry. There is only one thing she cares about at the moment and that is the little boy who won't look at her.

"Henry, there is one simple reason I stayed here: you. I wanted to get to know you," she admits finally to him and herself.

"You think I'm crazy," Henry says, his gaze still focused on the floor.

"No, I think the curse is crazy. And it is." Emma says. She takes a deep breath. She needs Henry to believe her. "But that doesn't mean that it isn't true. It is a lot to ask anyone to believe in, but there are a lot of crazy things in this world. So, what do I know? Maybe it is true."

"But you told my mom -"

"What she needed to hear," Emma finishes. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye then, expression still guarded. His expression opens up into one of surprised happiness when she says, "What I do know is that if the curse is real, the only way to break it is by tricking the Evil Queen into thinking we're nonbelievers. 'Cause that way, she's not on to us. Isn't that what Operation: Cobra was all about? Throwing her off the trail?"

"Brilliant!" Henry exclaims, sitting up from his slump to lean in towards Emma.

"I read the pages, and Henry, you're right, they are dangerous. There is only one way to make sure she never sees them."

Emma tosses the pages in the fire, the picture of Snow White crying during her failed attempt to use the wardrobe as an escape from the curse burning at the edges before melting entirely into flames.

"I knew you were here to help me!" he says.

He envelopes her in a hug so tight that Emma feels tears starting to form in her eyes. She blinks them away, and says, "That's right, kid, I am. And nothing, not even a curse, is going to stop that."

* * *

Killian is the only one at the sheriff's station when Emma storms in. He puts his fork down from his take out dinner and smiles at her.

"How much?" Emma demands.

Killian raises a brow, smirking. This Swan wasn't so different from his Emma at all. "How much for what, darling?" he asks in lazy drawl.

"How much to get the stupid lock off my tire?" Emma clarifies.

She crosses her arms over her chest. The thin shirt leaves very little to the imagination, but Killian's eyes don't linger long. He doesn't want her to get the wrong idea about him. He smirks. Not yet, anyway.

"For you, love, I'll do it for free. I heard you got into quite the tussle with the mayor. I'm impressed. Not many people who get on her bad side are so willing to come at her blow for blow," Killian says as he stands, stretches, and goes to get the key for the tire lock.

"Well, I'm not most people," Emma says, walking up behind him.

He stops, catches her off guard when he turns around to face her, if the wide-eyed look is anything to go by, and responds, "Certainly not. You're much more entertaining."

"Well, I'm not here to entertain you," she snaps.

"No, you're here for your son. And I don't blame you for wanting to stay and make sure he's alright. The lad hasn't been right for quite some time. It's good to see someone taking a vested interest in his well-being."

Emma cocks her head, eyebrows drawing together. "What do you mean?"

"Well, the doc, he tries, and Regina...well, she does her own thing. But you - you've really seemed to have gotten through to him," Killian says. He remembers a time when she got through to him as well, remembers when revenge seemed like something he could finally let go of.

What a lovely dream that was.

Emma looks uncomfortable as he stares at her, but he can tell that his words have gotten to her in a different way this time by the way her eyes stay on his even though she places her hands on her hips, the universal sign of "don't fuck with me."

Emma takes a deep breath then says, "I just want to make sure he's okay."

"I know," Killian says softly.

She stares at him for a long while and then her eyes trail across his face before landing on his lips. He doesn't move a muscle, doesn't want to break the spell.

The door opens.

Both Killian and Emma turn to look at the newcomer. _Graham, what awful fucking timing._

"Ms. Swan, not that it isn't nice to see you, but what are you doing here?" Graham asks.

"I was just about to get the key to unlock her tire for her," Killian answers.

"Ah, yes. Sorry about that. I know you're new here and you don't our laws yet, but we've got to go by the book."

"I understand," Emma says.

"I'll get it, Killian. Watch the station for me." Graham says, moving past him to get the key.

Killian seethes, but aloud he says, "No problem. That's what I'm here for."

Emma follows Graham out the door without looking back.


End file.
